Friday, June 29, 2018

Half Empty

Half empty girl running scared
Seeks redemption past unknown
Tremble with earnest untried
Undiscovered, realized

Faint of heart a broken soul
Waters cold are drowning her
Carried greed on these false wings
All she asks emptiness brings

Wishes for dollars she plies
An innocence worn unscathed
Lost is her beauty inside
Girl unspoken, girl denied

Demand a marker for truth
Spilling blood for your worthy
Create distance unexplored
Girl is nothing but a whore

Seeking redemption, I am
I am better than most men
Still your pardon I demand
Girl lost in life’s Neverland

Steal me and plunder
Create your thunder
Eruption of your
Pollution. Keep it
Simple and give me
All I am asking

Dear girl you are a lost cause
Gentle heart you failed to ignore
Life warnings that have expired
All you are asking denied

Gone. Undone. Broken
I am but a token
Mother has left me
Father is unknown
I will never be free

Pray for me

***

Shorts

3 shorts - my creative juices are waning - "practice makes perfect"

You never saw me
Even though I was there
I was a distraction
Unexpected affair
Maybe you loved me
Possibly you cared
Always invisible
Pretending and wishing
Hopeful that maybe
Someday you would see
It was always me

***

Moonbeams in a bottle
Taken from the night
Rainbows of color
When I turn off my light
My own little heaven
My own piece of sky
Kept so lovingly
Beside me tonight

***
Fallen Angel
Banned from His grace
Your wings are clipped
You must leave this place
Empty of remorse
Filled with this rage
Broken Angel
Fear the Devil
Forever disgraced

***

Family Aint

Family Ain't
Still it is
A shoulder
A hug
A voice
Listen please
Let's rejoice
Missing you
Aunt Rose tonight
A small girl
Mama's child
Growing up
Life exiled
Still I might
Nights with you
Ever wish
Feeling blue
Working hard
Precious girl
Mistakes made
And games played
Empty yet?
Listen up
Feeling sad
Young girl
New world
Lots to do
Missing Aunt
Tantamount
Feeling blue
Lost in you
Kiss me now
No one knows
What to do
Roses placed
On your grave
Always I
Missing you

***

Of Sages and Kings

Of sages and king
With faith I do bring
Fast waters, still like
Spill forth liquid hope
Addiction to coke
Falsified denied
Extreme let me in
There is no counting
A Bishop she plays
And make no mistake
King cowers in place
Precious forever
Lost to this tower
Girl you need to be
What I need you see
A Queen without me
If I let you down
Let tumble my crown
Pretence is my frown
Yet still I always
Firmly want only
For you to just be
And see me for me
A girl on her knees
Please pray for my sins
A dollar offered
Lowly my coffers
A whore no matter
Not what I'm after
This girl is undone
Unworthy the one
Seek the setting Sun
Bitch
Please
With such
Ease
Tease
And let exhausted
Be unexamined
Me bequeathed
See beneath
Who I could not be
My eternity
***

Confessions

Collaboration with Steven Fortune

Plunder my confessions at your own risk
Skim my contradictions in a context
Should a supposition bloom in my
aquatic garden of enigmas
be aware I never learned to swim
for current trepidation stays me at the mouth

The evolution of any distance
Martyred vignettes fixed in sublime rewind
Still the vapid and lingering malcontent, rooted neath’ the lift of wings
blessed the mercy who claims my breath
forever wistful in the pursuit of her grace

Tongueless confessions sprout stigmatic ulcers on my being
A vow of silence holding out for severance
Vilified discretions tether me to the consensus
Rapid dream movement has defiled mathmatical refuge
All is abstract on the internal road map
of autonomous affiliations

Chaste the blood let from stones cast in honor
Blistered my hands in feverish prayer
Stray the sheet from his righteous flock, illicit into the Sun I proclaim
free is the destiny I’ve chosen
for the memories of those I have left behind

***

Let's Do Happy

Let’s do happy
For just one day
A day without
Regrets and pain
So long remorse
Wish you could stay
The other cheek
Must turn away
Let us try love
Understanding
Life would be so
Undemanding
If we all shine
Equally fine
Be united
In excitement
One race only
The human kind
Let our tears be
Of simple joy
Belly-aching
And sorrow free
Let’s take a ride
Test this theory
Sadness is banned
Now. Forever
Can you feel it?
Deep inside
Blossoming in
Both you and I
Sister, Brother
Let’s raise our voice
Praise His word and
We shall rejoice
Pump our fists and
Rally the night
Let’s do happy
Give it a try
Perhaps with luck
In time it sticks
Always happy
This life of mine

***

You're Messed Up

I love you
You’re messed up
I am too
Pictures blue
Painted skies
In my eyes
Of me
Of you
Always wishing
Reminiscing
Days gone by
What I missed
Missing you
Frail heart bleeds
Still I need
Scent of you
Our final dance
Failed romance
Bittersweet
Lies and truth
I see only
Former glory
Unseeing hurts
Thief of my worth
Riding sorrow
Hope for morrow
Neath a pale moon
I still mourn you

***

Conviction

Evict me
Seriously
Tell me how
To think
To be
That ain’t free
Judge me
Am I too white
Or too needy
Set fire my expectations
Ration my patience
Here for the duration
Stop the celebration
Take a seat
Let’s discuss
All this fuss
Getting us nowhere
Life is never fair
Why so complicated
Vanity overrated
This life of mine
Only makes sense
White picket fence
Living the dream
Riches obscene
Living extreme
Insanity
Divinity
In our voices
Of our choices
Putting food on my table
Thankful that I am able
To go barefoot should I choose
Fashion victim in spiked heels
Not the sucker without shoes
When did we become so cruel?
Intolerance
Ignorance
It’s all bullshit
Get over it
Get over you
Look over your shoulder
The giant boulder
Carried on your back
Make a choice
To rejoice
And lighten your pack
Depraved indifference
Plight of real victims
A societal witch-hunt
Fake news weeps from bloody stones
Still we do throw
Stones of our own
Be genuine
Not plasticine
Molded truth
Let spill forth
Crowd of fools
Gospel spun in kind
Fairytales and rhymes
Our world is dying
Morality kneels in prayer
To what God does she whisper

***

Denied

Impeccable
Respectable
Controversial
Point of view
All I do
Void of you
Broken I
Want to try
Wish denied
New world this
Girl denied
Kiss me white girl
Touch me, please me
Wanting freedom
Young heart
Broken
Waters
Flowing
Depth of me
Depth of you
Love me
Leave me
Kiss me twice
Darling child
I'm not nice
Touch me
Please me
Set me free
Wild daughter
Wanting
Naughty
Never shall I
Be what
I should
Want to
Be else i
Am

***

Sunday, June 24, 2018

Church of my Dreams



(On) a southern afternoon
My prayers are missing you
That old church
We both knew
Sold broken promises

The windows, painted black
You can never go back
Tear-filled eyes
Time gone by
Forever l will wait

I no longer ask 
For him to send you back 
You filled my night with stars 
And painted my heart blue
I'm still missing you

Sad songs to help me breathe
Take me away from here
Words I scream
No release 
Lost in a memory

When lonely calls my name
From a far-away place
Taking me
Where me meet
In the church of my dreams

***

Sunday, June 17, 2018

Ain't Nothing What It Seems


Paper sacks of green
Cash for coke un-cola
Nothin what it seems
Resurrected
Perfection
Negated
Castration
Ambiguous
Ovation
An ocean of filth
Swim with the fishes
Deathly ambitions
Super-star
Overture
Underrated
Convoluted
Polluted
Sense of self
Superiority
High on a shelf
Unreachable
Between
Obscene
Gestures
So mean
My scene
I just want to dance
Get high and relax
Procrastinate
Exaggerate
My existence
Someone dies
Say I'm fine
Dying inside
What it means
Who decides
Is it a gift
Or a curse
Words rehearsed
Until the hearse
Carries me
To my grave

***

Thursday, June 7, 2018

Myriad

Stealthy vines meander
Course through a myriad of bloom
Weaving paths uncertain
Foraging our own truth

Hidden we are rooted
Searching for what we do not know
Fate is predetermined
Whichever road we go

Settle the dusky moons
Sleep if you will in peaceful dreams
Weighted leaves in slumber
Heaven reaching for peace

***

Wednesday, June 6, 2018

Clamor

See these tears they fall for you
Sometimes I remember too
Every bit of
And memories lost
Take me beyond 
This place in haste, I wallow
Clamor for ever-after
Dear girl you're a disaster
Chew me up and spit me out
Fuck yourself, move on with life
Satisfy your base desires
I am not
What you got
Regrets for what never was
Special. Your claims were false.
I am nobody you see
A girl that you knew in need
And finally you are free
Tell me how that makes you feel
Sad girl fade into the night
Tomorrow is near, feel the light
I am tired
God's betrayal
I'm made from sin and garbage
My life a fucking mirage
Pretence and pretty
Heaven almighty
I am not worthy
Help me I'm fading
Into nothingness
***

Tuesday, June 5, 2018

Quitting Time


I wrote a song when I was 11 or 12 years old - a handful actually - inspired by the music I grew up listening to like Patsy Cline, Johnny Cash, Hank Williams... a talented friend Bill Bero put this to music for me and VOILA!

Click here to LISTEN - QUITTIN TIME

Monday, June 4, 2018

Bring the Fire

Bring the fire
Sweet release
Fly me higher
On my knees
Loathsome crazy
Float the tide
C'mon baby
Let it ride
Kiss me gently
Soft i cry
Let me be free
Lonely night
Petals from sky
Let me fall
Give me this life
Angel's call
Rainbow waters
Shimmering
Here comes the light
Still I dream
***

Painted Walls

This chair where I sit
Painted walls inked in rage
Awash in blue and grey
I am windowless
No glass to wrench my gaze
Emptiness, bereft days
Stained soul and chance game
Torn mattress where I lay
False idols beg my Faith
A vessel of water
Broken glass my blood splayed
Soulless eyes mirror inside
Unshackled my restraint
Drops of pure red rain
For to wash free my pain
Her final resting place
Lost sheep is far from grace
***

Body Art

SLAM. Me against the wall
Watch. Curse me as I fall
Rag doll I am nothing
Zero. I feel so small
Hero. Do you feel tall?
Relentless your scorn
Ornament. I am doomed
Scream. I am begging you
Tears wash my bloody face
Canvas. I am painted
Heart. Forever tainted
Pedestrian my blues
Lost. Who will help this girl?
Gone. She has left this world
***

Wings Beneath My Feet

Daisies lifted with the breeze
Wings beneath their rooted feet
Disguising what lays beneath
Rotted corpses discarded
Their stories disregarded
Forgotten, hardly mattered
Whores playing dangerously
Chained. Degraded. Wanting free
Who cares if they are missing
Twisted sinner, savage beast
Carving master of this feast
For her anguish no reprieve
Washed ashore her shattered bones
Poor lost girl finally home
Rain the heavens, her tears flow
Daisies fresh to mark her grave
Lonesome figure alone came
For her daughter she does pray
***

Lost

There the old man sat
Lonely. Deep in thought
Perhaps 
His past
Despite time, still haunts
He wondered about
Those he left behind
His doubt
A cloud
Always on his mind
His girls are now grown
Do they think of him
Of what
He's become
Of how he left them
His mind remembers
Every single day
His tears
Reminders
What he threw away
Visitation day
How it torments him
He prays
For strength
Forgive him his sins
***

Jigsaw

God damned I am angry
Won't you please let me shout
Every word corrected 
Carefully protracted
It's animalistic
Please tell me what the fuck
I may not be perfect
Not all my t's are crossed
My blood is ruby red
And my heart is pure gold
Judge me by my cover
Do so at your peril
This girl
Her world
Ain't big
Enough
For you
Walk by me and pretend
That I do not matter
Shut me down, ignore me
Rise up dear mad hatter
Fetch me my crazy stick
So I can keep walking
You got nothing to say?
Ain't no ever after
Buttercup
Erupt
Shut-up
Put-up
Foul mouthed
Asshole
I dream of glory
It's your dime, my story
I will return. This town
All the bullshit. I own
Small town girl makes it big
Full time job and she's clean
You are not enough
Less than
Never equal to
Stupid
Why do you exist
This mirror is a picture
Of someone I once knew
She is lost at what cost
She was all that she lost
And has lost all of you
Sad girl she is broken
But fuck who really cares
Her mom in lala land
Her dad? Let's leave it there
The end
Is here
This time
My tears
Jigsaw
Puzzle
***

Mass Grave

Bury me in a mass grave
Lay me straight, dirt on my face
Crumpled bodies fill the space
Noone cares faceless disgraced
Paint by numbers lovely girl
Flowers, sunshine. Fuck this world
Rocks and cement make my tomb
Gravesite marker. Ain't no fool
Let's dance under the moonlight
And hold hands beneath the stars
No magic moondust makes us
More or less than who we are
Strip my body free of life
I don't want to see or breathe
If I matter visit me
Take this moment will you please
Stop. Tell me do you believe?
Will you come. Will you mourn me?
Little girl you are naive
A princess in her tower
Christ will you just let her be
Weep your tears but let her sleep
Wandering sheep, let her bleat
Stray the strong and stay the weak
From your flock, finally free
***

Sweet Death

Sometimes I disappear
A ghost in plain sight
False are my footsteps
I am dead inside
Awake I am dreaming
Asleep I am alive
Catching rainbows
Only in my mind
Blood of my childhood
Raining from the sky
Glittering diamonds
Make believe heaven
Wrestling the demons
Sweet death dear mother
Let sleep blessed night
Never do waken
No longer I fight
***

Empty

I am empty
Drained of my blood
Weary of heart
Exiled in Faith
Madness erupts
Courting sorrow
Gentle His hand
A lover’s touch
Poisonous kiss
Betwixting me
Willing his gift
Whispered climax
Wakeful dream
I clench my loins
To fuel the need
Enchanted I
Dear Piper play
Your lullaby
Hush my darling
I lay my head
Upon your chest
I am tired
Please let me rest
Oh, starry night
Forever keep
My soul free
Uncaged I weep
***

Lonely Haunting

God made me strong
Though I am weak
A firm belief
Of all I am
Your voice it screams
It wants to know
Who's listening
My voice is cold
What do you say
To what you know
Is what you hear
What you've been told
Loneliness haunts
Or so I'm told
Feed me something
Derelict soul
Path unwandered
Discovered truth
Forever lost
Now without you
***

Tree

With slender reach
I brush the night
These gentle hands
Gather blue tears
Fallen from sky
Weighted concrete
Keeps me here
Still I do fly
Soar with Angels
Sing with the dusk
God’s will I try
Take leave my roots
Onward I climb
Brave silhouette
Like fingers rise
Seeking heaven
Uprooted mind
Pale my divine
Spiraling heights
Bell tower chimes
Rise and take flight
And leave behind
A lonely oak
Rooted in time
***

Over You

I'm over you
I no longer
Am prisoner
To your truth
For sure I miss
Your lovely kiss
I am done
We are through
Every part
Of me and you
I will bury
Hide the body
Find someone new
Boy finally
I'm totally
And utterly
So completely
Finished here
This last dance
Our last chance
To refire or
Retire the past
We are broken
No going back
But still I wish
That we, you, this
Could have lived
But contrived
Can't survive
I'd be lying
For denying
What we had
Wasn't bad
Just not enough
When things got tough
Our fire
Desire
Had no room
Wouldn't bloom
It's our time
Say goodbye
Love ya baby
Know that I tried
***