Wednesday, January 31, 2018

Silly Me

I see you
Once we were
What you are
Now with her
Still your touch
Haunts my mind
Wanting
Denying
Peace of mine
Your lips
My lips
Pressed
Dressed
Surely
You feel
Unreal
Our parting
Disheartening
While tragic
Our magic
Lives and breathes
Your girl
Your world
I’ll always be
She’ll pass through
I know it
You will see
Silly me
***

faith

My faith
Erase
Begin
Again
Wanting
Longing
To learn
Return
Childhood
Sunday school
Never ruled
Tin can
Take my
Quarter
And run
Parents slept
So inept
Religion
Was fiction
I’m itching
To breathe
Release
My soul
Let me
Please be
To choose
What I
Believe
God exists
I resist
Need something
To predict
All bullshit
Anyways
***

See Me

You don't see me
I see you
You don't listen
I hear you
You are my moon
You set my Sun
I melt from your
Lingering gaze
When you touch me
I taste you
Warmth in my loin
Want to feel you
I am betrayed
My knees weaken
My voice catches
Whisper soft moans
Captured
Raptured
Stolen
Fallen
Emboldened
Beholdened
To you
***

Sisters

We fought growing up
Competing
Needling
Needing
To win
His love and his praise
The middle
A riddle
Too young
Too old
Did she belong
Never feeling right
Simply. Feeling wrong
When he left
You to me
Suddenly
Important
Supporting
Standing
At my finish line
Cheering
Shouting
Loving
Melting
My doubts and my tears
Of all those years
Ebb and flow
This our gold
Sister dear
We are mirrors

***

My Muse

I abuse
My muse
What she gives
Inspires
Takes a wrong
Builds a song
Leaves me empty
And so shattered
Her brain matter
Often fodder
For a story
Or another
Makes me smile
Uses her wiles
To beguile
And do what
I never
Endeavoured
All the while
So I give thanks
Her type extinct
Delightful
Frightful
Obnoxious
And toxic
Mind fuck
I'm struck
Her genius
Capricious
Delicious
Unwavering
Truth
She is
A gift
To me
To you
Dear muse
***

Friday, January 26, 2018

Looking Glass

In this mirror you stand
Next to me as planned
Your hand holding mine
This love is divine
You left in anger
Us. This life.
We are in danger
What do you see
Staring
Uncaring
Is it real
I pretend
Transcend
This end
Now begins
Freedom is
Bless me
I’ve sinned
Not wanting
It to end
See me
Alone
Forlorn
Keep me
Teach me
Insanity
I plead
Mind freed
Ready
Unsteady
Heady
I bleed
Who I am
Unsure
Un-pure
So I ask
Look at me shining
In this mirror pining
Ghost who used to be
Not standing with me
***

Wednesday, January 24, 2018

Shoelaces Untied

*A collaboration piece with my fellow Poet Candy Marie

It’s like your lies
My floppy ties,
I tripped,
You slipped,
On those stupid white lies,
You say you’re humbled,
Baby, I am crumbled
So why all this fuss?
You say sorry.
You’re unworthy.
Enough.
This stuff.
Do you even hear me?
Never about us.
Your ego inflated.
So, over-rated
This meant to tie,
Only divides.
What once,
Was us,
Into separate lives.
So now I am left,
With nothing to lose.
And shoes that won’t move.
Shoes discarded
Now we're parted
You won't see me brokenhearted.
Retaliation
Ain't salvation
Hitting my final destination.
I will see you hanging round
Like the dirt left on the ground
You ain't no playa just a hound.

***

Tuesday, January 23, 2018

His Absence

When your father
Doesn’t bother
Or he’d rather
Be somewhere else
Not here with you
You feel broken
Middle token
This group of three
Siblings and me
Left to wonder
If we mattered
Still we ponder
Why did he leave
An ageless hurt
That will not heal
Perhaps one day
My eyes will see
Beyond the pain
His gifts to me
Guidance
Mentor
Strength
Laughter
One day before
He did love me
Perhaps maybe
I will be freed
To see what my -
Heart will not see
Life complicated
And overrated
Confusing
Disillusioning
Maybe what we
Never meant
It to be
C’est la vie!
A daydream

***

Relief

F*** this life
Really
Didn’t ask
Or want
It just
Became me
Absorbed me
Filled me
Completely
Every ounce of me
So, wanted to be
Everything that you
Needed me to be
God damned
Aroused
Was found
Want to see
The perfection
My erection
I’m hard core
So, your whore
Need relief
Don’t believe
In much
Anymore
My quest
This test
Leaving
Me still
Wanting more
My fantasy
Reality
For you boyfriend
I am all yours
Your ticket please
Get on your knees
Ya baby plead
Just you and me
Ain’t gonna be
Anything more
Show me the door
I am gone
Not around
Let’s explore
Together

***

Saturday, January 20, 2018

bully

Stupid you
You’re cruel
Unkind
Rewind
You fool
False words
You spout
Make it
Seem real
False lies
No deal
Too late
They hate
Fuck you
None true
If you
Believe
In this
Deceit
Well that’s
On you
Gossip sucks
Out of luck
End my life
Hate this strife
All because
One false truth
And you lose
Your whole self
Your very core
Now a whore
Boy’s a’knockin
At your door
Jesus Christ
Leave her be
She’s fifteen
Just a kid
Fucking shit
Hey Mom
Hey Dad
Wake up
Your kid
Is a dick!
Now she dangles
Her rope tangled
Feet swaying
I’m praying
For her soul
Girl unknown
***

Real

Am I real
What you feel
What you see
It’s all me
I ain’t playin
I’m just sayin
If real’s
Your deal
I’m your girl
Every word
My voice
My choice
And my verse
Ya my curse
But it’s me
I am not
Pretending
Defending
Who I
Wanna
Got to
Be
See
You get
Just me
Your complaining
Fuck it’s shaming
I ain’t blaming
Still can you
And don’t you
Figure you
Can be more
Than what for
But if this
All you got
Don’t ignore
Find the door
And move on
I implore
Nothing more
Than this
I exist
So please cease
And desist
Can’t resist
Girl unfloored
***

Green Eyes

I am a girl
Sweet and kind
Bright green eyes
Alone in world
Crowding my space
Can't see your face
Frightened
Wanting
Expecting
Nothing
Crippled I
Am silenced
No father
A mother
None to love me
A man pretends
To feel for me
Therefore I am
And alone grieve
Wishing
Remission
Admitting
Contrition
Dare I hope
To matter
This time and place
This human race
Perhaps born I
No saving grace
Until I am
Forever erased
***

Why do I

I might have wondered
Why I exist
For I'm unwanted
Buyers beware
This girl damaged
Beyond repair
With quiet hope
And daring breath
Wanton for love
Until then quelled
She is the lamb
Herded by sheep
Buried inside
Buried her grief
Befallen
Her calling
Her life path
Mired
Spiralling
She's unmasked
Forgiving
Hoping that
All her wrath
Inspires
Transpires
Her journey
Life at last
She rejoices
Although broken
She is wondrous
A beautiful
Creation of
Adam and Eve
***

Thursday, January 18, 2018

Stalker

My stalker
He rocks it
His crude
Screams mood
I’m falling
His offering
Can’t pass up
Tell him to stop
Threaten the cops
Doesn’t listen
Like a piston
Fires me
That he
Desires me
Genuine
Is his pen
Think he’s a
Perfect ten
If truth be known
Foul and creepy
Ain’t a turn on
Naturally
This jackass
Fuels my wrath
Some sarcasm
While I vent
Unfriended
Must end this
So here’s my rant
Fuck off you shit
Not buying it
Annoying zit
Find someone else
You can play with

Garbage

Uninspired
Piece of garbage
Choke hold
I’m sold
Kick you to the curb
Name your poison?
What’s the expression –
Let sleeping dogs lie
Unrestful aggression
Euthanize
Castrate
Parts of you
All of you
I hate
You’re draining
Degrading
Scum of the earth
You fill my -
Gutter with
All your filth
Piece a shit
Wannabe
Never be
Anything
Meaningful
Liar
Expired
Human
I desire
To stifle you
No remorse
My voice hoarse
From raging
My crazy ass
Wants to kick ass
Up to the task
Wonderance
Of abundance
Is my ire
Burns like fire
Your punk self
You are devoid
Null and void
Back on the shelf
Off you go
***

Stuttering Heart

Don’t need much
Just your touch
Sweet kiss
I miss
Strong arms
For warmth
Gentle smile
So beguiled
Walk a mile
This bliss
You are
For sure
Heaven sent
My best friend
So I
Stutter
My heart
Flutters
When you’re near
There’s no fear
Can’t wait
To taste
Your skin
My dear
***

Fly

Catch me
I'm falling
Hear your
Voice calling
Seductive
Eruption
Explosion
Of emotion
Twisted and
Explicit
You make my
Insides fly
My body
Is slammed
God-damn
This desire
I'm on fire
Pressed tight
Feels right
Scream and moan
Bring it home
I dream of
You at night
***

Whole

An old hurt
It lingers
Dies slowly
So lowly
It’s gifts 
Says I’m wrong
Still I’m gone
No return
A slow burn
My heart spurned
Easier to
Reject you
Keep my truth
Save part of my soul
Keep tiny this hole
Say we’re through
Saran wrapped
Heart whole
Never trapped
Always blue
Dare I risk
Let you in
Zero trust
Try again
I want so much
To open up
Tell me how
To begin
Give of your self
Fully to me
So I am free
My time of need
Important you
Will always be
Understand
Who I am
And who I
Know I can
Be
Please
Like
Me
***

Tuesday, January 16, 2018

with these wings

A light that carries me
Beneath an angel’s wings
Lifted high
Soaring bright
Is how you make me feel

When I lay in your arms
Be still my beating heart
Warm and strong
For I long
Your love to keep me warm

Tenderly
Speak to me
Every part
Of my soul
Fill me so
Completely

Your light that carries me
New worlds I imagine
In my mind
All I see
Perfect love
Eternity
Bring to me
To my breast this love freed

She's not done

Fuck cancer
Can’t have her
She’s not done
Her life begun
You’ve taken from
Life too often
For her we plead
This second chance
Taste the sweet air
The fresh cut grass
Don’t let her die
It’s not her time
Please tell my why
She was chosen
Our world frozen
Stuck in this time
For death to claim
God’s angel child
Who do I blame
Missed firsts
First love
First birth
First rose
First dance
Love poems
Romance
Her unclaimed
Memories
In her name
Losing game
Now she sleeps
Sad, we weep
As we grieve
At her grave
Disbelief
Now we pray
***

Inside Out

Beside myself
Scattered matter
Inside outside
And upside down
Pull together
Mustered tether
Face the mirror
There is no you
Where you once stood
Darkness now stays
My wooden heart
Bemoans your place
Fall from grace
Stumbled
Tumbled
Jarring
Scarring
I’m reeling
Still feeling
This hole you left
My gaping chest
Weep my soul
For ever more
I’m sorry for
All that was lost
Nowhere to go
Tomorrow
Is borrowed
Today
Is pain
This girl
Never
Will love
Again
***

Scorn

I don’t tolerate
Rather I berate
All Fuckers who hate
Die and dissipate
Or appreciate
Talent not your own
Forgo all your scorn
What do you like...Porn?
Seriously bro
Quit actin the ho
And let your hate go
Rainbows, daffodils
Take a pill and chill
This world has moved on
You ain’t Jesus’s son
Take a bow, get out
Unforgiving lout


***

Wholly

Touch me
Wholly
I’m yours
I want 
You and
Not a
Thing more
Burning
Caress
Blatant
Desire
Cmon baby
Ignite me
I’m on fire
This baby
Is crazy
Send her
End her
Make her
All yours


***

Past the girl

Encumbered
Downtrodden
I’m fallen
Trying
Vying
For your heart
You don’t see
Past the girl
I’ve always been
If one day
You’ll be swayed
Take a chance
On romance
Second glance
Forever
Deliver
Happiness
And bless
This girl
***

Buried Alive

Girl unsure 
She’s buried
And very sad
No longer mad 
Disappointed
Not anointed
The Queen
Unforeseen
Tumbled crown
She’s a clown
Upside down
Not around
To soothe her
Or approve
A lost groove
It behooves
You to go
Say so long
Her swan song
Sad sad girl


***

Monday, January 15, 2018

Pen Almighty

I wield my pen
For want of sin
The easy way
To have my say
And raise my voice
Thine eyes are moist
My words spill free
In Ink, they weep
When I can’t speak
And say my peace
Won’t be denied
Feelings inside
Want to let out
Silent they shout
Stronger they do
Lash out at you
Unintended
If offended
You’re defensive
My expressive
Just my way of saying
I am tired of playing
All your way
So today
Pen almighty
Yielding
Fielding
Pent up anger
Dismissive
Submissive
Hoity-toity airs
I am venting
Not inventing
Real is this verse
My wicked curse
That I share
Get off your horse
Allow my voice
Disagree?
It’s your choice
And I don’t care
***

Falling

I’m in that mood
Anything
You say, well
It ain’t good
I’m tired
Of wanting
Wishing you’d
Stay
Pray
Tell me one
Thing when I
Call you say
I love you
But never
You sever
Me with those
Eyes
Not sure you
Really do
Sigh
So what’s next
I’m going through
Withdrawals
I’m falling
Without you
Still my heart
Please know this
I’m always
Thinking of
Your sweet kiss
Until then
I’ll say goodbye
Silly I know
You’re on my mind
***

On the morrow

Serene
Supreme
Being
Of light
This night 
Of fire
Brimstone
Blood boils
She toils
Mired
Lonesome
Melting sorrow
On the morrow
Crestfallen
She wallows
Forgotten
Maudlin
She moans
Atoned
Wanton
For home
She roams
Chasing tombs
Empty rooms
Spirit ghosts
Of men lost
Forgotten
On seas tossed
Souls roasted
Evil flames
Losing game
Ill-gotten
Fatal victory
Fated journey
In darkness haunts
Fabled story
Crimson glory
A holocaust
***

Enchanted

I want for a childhood
Memories not my own
But to be enchanted
And in your arms once more
To weave magically
Across the wooden floor
To sounds of old country
Strings of a mandolin
My eyes closed as we twirled
With tippy toes and grin
The same sad song still plays
And if I close my eyes
I almost see you there
Just as the last note fades
***

Gloom

This day 
Gloomy
Boring
Inane
I am
Losing
Feel my pain
Nothing gained
No blame
This game
No winners
All sinners
Feeling shame
Heart betrayed
Need the Sun
To shine again


***

Ache

Hidden
Behind
This face
Something 
Time can't 
Erase
Pain etched
Forever
To deliver
Herself from
Disgrace
Acquiesce
I digress
You impress
Nothingness
Blesses
My soul
She'll go
Wherever
Hearts go
To die
Her time
Defined
Tears cried


***

Shutter

Heart whole
Moment stolen
In this instance
Promise broken
Past ghosts
Shuttered release
Demented soul
Unseen
Lost winter
Unchained spirit
Regained freedom
Port hole
Transcend
Begin
Again
Unwanted love
Unbridled self
Unworthy is
This journey
Wanton to cage
Her. A life staged
And so she rages
Forever to
Fiery grave
***

Spent

I'm spent 
No rant
Or rave
No words
Or feuds
I'm done
No spin
You win
Can't write 
No fight 
No more 
All's gone
This song
Ended 
I'm wrong
Let it go

***

Spared

Your arms 
Around me 
I shuffle 
My feet 
I'm scared 
Unaware 
Of what I
Might need 
Your touch 
I miss much
You make me 
Whole again 
You don't care
I'm spared 
But this ends
My friend 
I'm done

***

Thursday, January 11, 2018

this time

You ignore me
Don’t think of me
Until it suits
I realize
Not your first choice
Is decency
A bust
Fuck trust
I’m not ruined
Ain’t having it
It’s quite simple
You mean jack shit
What’s your deal
Don’t you feel
For me at all
I am handy
When you’re randy
I’m on speed dial
Get a job
Effin slob
No longer beguiled
By you
I’m through
Don’t care
For your
Point of view
Took awhile
To exile
I am done
You ain’t fun
I’ve moved on
This new day’s dawn
Don’t include you


***

Wednesday, January 10, 2018

Ink

Charged I create
Pen to paper
Weeping plot
I illustrate
A voice heard 
Truth in word
Sing in cursive
With breath, relive
In flight, does soar
In anger, roar
Dripping ink
Seeking more
To rejoice
To whisper, shout
Strike peace, rage war
To make real
What is fiction
What’s not believed
So, quell the beast
Capture the thief
Tempt the free 
Inspire dreams
To command
Every score
Of this prose
Make maudlin
Be morose
Etched to stir
A life unfurled
Give life 
Give limb
Sacrifice
Kill, on whim
Hail the Creator
Wielding his pen
Mighty his sword
The written word
Reveled glory
Is my story

***

Duel Mirrors

Can we fix the souls that we break,
Glue together the hearts we take,
Trust in self and still we shake,
Wash away everything fake?
Fighting behind enemy lines,
The enemy is you, your mind,
No lights, walking blind,
If we allow it in can we find?
What reflection lies in the Duel Mirrors?
Love, seduction, and pause.
Duality never breaks, the system aches,
Knocking now let it in or give pause
Relentless it beckons you
With false armor, claims her truth
Inside falsehood pursues
Hungrily devouring your youth
Is what we see, what we make?
Our reality, our choice
Is it giving, if we take
In the looking glass rejoice
With eyes, unseen, thief of light
Feverish soul, creature delights
Wanton, this relentless night
Yielding to dark, stoic in flight
Vain this shadow swathed in sin
This likeness a mere portrait
Is it real or imagined?
An image cast, less than perfect

Collaboration with Thomas Spychalski

Remiss Kiss

Filled with joy
Cheshire grin
Kindred spirit
Let me in
Teacher
Preacher
Mentor
Friend
Brewing lust
Seedling trust
Rooted in place
Innocent face
Sorrow erased
Divine grace
Internal war
Wanton whore
Slams the door
She wants more
This bliss
Remiss
It misses
Our kisses
Your warmth
Your touches
Electrified
Brushes
Exchanging heat
Each time we meet
Sweet defeat
Not enough
Need your stuff
At my core
I want more
***

Fallen Angel

Fallen angel
Devil’s spawn
Stolen need
Lustful greed
Swollen thrust
Hands full
Plentiful
Plush with lush
Exhale
Can’t breathe
Heady scent
Heaven sent
I was meant
For this
Pure bliss
My kiss
Explores
Wants more
Molten heat
Tastes so sweet
Captured
Rapture
Wicked treat
***

Monday, January 8, 2018

In Exile

Surrender myself
My warring mind
Battle within
No end in sight
Dormant tears swell
Rising to fight
A small window
A glimpse
Eclipse
I can’t let go
Fresh laid denial
Traces of you
Exiled
Your memory
Still makes me smile
If you
Did choose
Who would
Would you
Choose me
Thrown out to sea
Broken port window
Love and lust
Faith and trust
Shattered glass
watch your step
Cut us both
Apply pressure
Or watch me go
not a throwaway
no sideshow 
redeem me
or leave me
either road
I will walk
Walk with me
Or forever stalk
fly with me
or stay grounded
watch me soar
be dumbfounded
as I rise above this
Forever yours
or forever lost.

Co-written with Thomas Spychalski

Duel Mirror

The Mirror shines
But not reflect
Draped in dust
Did not expect
Winter's calling
Wolf comes next
Heavy breathing
Now comes a sigh
Constant needing
Both low and high
Freed the Sun
Escape the day
Hawkish moon
Pungent ache
Unearthed dusk
Whispered shame
Shallow grounds
Weeps her grave
What she sees
A mind insane
Undone
Lonesome
Battered
Shattered
Her soul weary
And does not hide
What is painted
Mirrored inside


Co-written with Thomas Spychalski

Sin

Lingering gaze
She seeks redemption
Crimson temptress 
Unrested
Blessed
Her evil ways
Heavy with shame
She belongs
To no one
You say her name
Dream of her lips
Her fingertips
The Fallen
They worship
Swollen desire
Burning
Yearning
Quell this fire
Her soul singed
Forgive me Father
For I have sinned
***

Liar

Wanting
To be free
Let me out
I can’t breathe
Tell me you’re
Sorry
Liar
I’ve heard it
You’ve meant it
A hundred times
Before
Ain’t no spark
In this heart
That makes you
Worthwhile
So I’d rather
You didn’t matter
But I’ll keep
You longer
Even the score
When I cry
You decry
Promises unmade
You’ll be safe
If you wait
For perfection
To come along
And so you’ll dither
My self will wither
I ain’t bitter
Just play this girl
A sad country song
***

Electric

This attraction
Lights up the sky
Fatal desire
Feeds my insides
Deep it's embers
Embrace the night
Blood crimson glow
Magic in flight
Kissed by thunder
Mighty it's roar
Savage beast plunders
The writhing shore
Pounding waves
Lost at sea
Natures fury
Still the beast
Electric beauty
Awakens my dreams
Lonesome teardrops
Lull me to sleep
***

Thursday, January 4, 2018

Exist

Uncertain if
I exist
Wonder whether
There’s an After
Or is this
Blissfulness
All a dream
As it seems
This Life, I fear
Was never here
And stands to reason
There are no seasons
But for
My imagination
Exists this nation
And isn’t there
An actual There?
Or is it space
And simple games
My mind does play
Can I erase
Every single trace
Of you
Or her
And him
On a whim
Mentally trim
Who do I miss
After we kiss
Seriously
Do you exist?
***

Mirror

What you see
Mirror
All of me
Inside
Out I’ll be
Is this
Really me
A facade
A life flawed
Ill begotten
Ne’er forgotten
What you do see
It is not me
This pretence
Is a fence
A wall
To stall
Interlopers
After all
Won’t deny
I’m done trying
I ain’t crying
Just wanting
Simplification
Do you get it
I’m emphatic
And over it
Move along
I am done
***

Game

Paint my face
Lips crimson red
Don’t need blush
I am flush
Wanting your touch
My pedigree
Ain’t for sale
No obligation 
For satiation
My primal needs
Take your time
I’m feeling fine
Let’s get high
Stay the night
You are mine
At least tonight
No right
No wrong
Play it right
This my song
Fuck tomorrow
We will live on
Time we borrow
Kiss me
Thrill me
Undress
Confess
Your desires
I’m on fire
A hot mess

***

Spin

Shadows creep
Kissing light
Want to soar
Still my sigh
I am bored
Wishing that
Life meant more
Unyielding
Unbelieving
Unfeeling
What lay in store
Heart that yearns
Dreams unfurled
Living still
Backwards world
Bottled
Mottled
Maudlin
Want for yore
I am no one
So who’s the whore?
***

Wednesday, January 3, 2018

Nature's Lust

Gentle she quivers
As she lay
Breathing
Basking
Embracing
The hot sun
Kissing gently
Dewy lips pressed
So tender
Upon her
She darkens
Yielding
To desire
Soil on fire
Burning
Her core
Molten
Rooted
Vibrant
She blooms
Heady in scent
Perfumed essence
Wanton
Craving
His bounty
Touch her and
Lay with her
Trembling she lusts
For Nature’s thrust
This blade of grass
***

Glitz

Shiny paper
And big red bow
Hidden treasures
It’s my pleasure
To meet you
What’s inside
I don’t know
This fa├žade
False bravado
Never telling
Always quelling
Truth from faux
Fix your smile
I’m beguiled
Spit and shine
Want for mine
Dare I peak
What’s behind
The mask
I ask
Is the Actor
Only wrapper
Who knows?

***