Tuesday, May 4, 2021

from high

From high the cold winds blow

across an ocean wide

taking you far from home

without you by my side

 

Wherever you now roam

forever you will be 

a part I must let go

a part my heart shall keep

 

Beneath an azure sky

an angel gets his wings

for precious is his life

as one our voices sing



A ghost that you can't see

A ghost that you can't see
Made up of broken dreams
Willful my disregard
Running like spent peace
Carousel rewinding
What I feel deep inside
Moving unrelenting
Wishing I could hide
Perfect imperfection
Untreading whence I come
Near and far unwinding
Far away from home
Deceitful your magic
Longs such wistful idyll
Pretending forever
Searching for you still

Naked I Stand

Naked I stand
With fallen leaves
Reaching heavenward
Soil my blistered soul
Tame the wretched
A glimpse of will
Faltering sky
Comfort me
Let your sun
Warm my grace
Untouched weary
Oh blessed rain
Shine thy face
In voice strong
Begging and pleading
For hope's sake

On breathy wings

On breathy wings, carry me
And lift my tired soles
Weary weeps, tears I’ve left
Oh, solemn heart
Knowing we must part
This dance we, with arms entwined
Neath stars a dreamer’s waltz
Holding close precious soul
My dearest one
Seeking what is lost
Lest winds unchanged, in gather
Unfettered voices we
Wail our voices, ringing
Shadows un-roamed
For all the world shown

What's wrong with me?

What's wrong with me
Aint, what it seems
Inside
A damn bursts
Thirsts
Whats left of me
It all feels
So bloody empty
What's wrong with me
All of this blue
Strangles
Casting stones
Alone
Won't you help me
Help me please
Pray for my release
What's wrong with me
Nothing to see
Missing
Lost in time
Cursed
This wretched mind
Spinning wild
Lonely is the child
What's wrong with me?

Contained

I am bound
Inside these walls
Walls and walls
Of shame
Impressed upon
My brain
Adorning me
The illicit
Letter A
Keep me here
For I am
Contained

this moon

This moon
Prideful it glows
Anchored in the sky
Shadows cast
Darkened light
My moon
Secrets unfold
Whispered in my ear
I am lost
Swallowed fear
Benign
Moonshine
Deny
What I
Cry for
On my knees
My lungs feed
Wolves
Prowling
Howling
Basic needs
This moon
His story
Romantic
Pedantic
Wishful
Glory
What lies beneath
Shimmering gold
Minds undone for
Want of the Sun
Frenzied Beast
Seeks to be free
This moon
Perfect for me

and when we started

And when we started
It seemed like love
We went forward
Like we knew what
It was all about
And when we parted
I fell apart
Falling slowly
Into what was
From a looking glass
And so here we are
Afraid to be
Making something
Of make believe
Only I can see
These tiny moments
Seconds of past
Hoping wanting
Another chance
Only nothing lasts
My tears I've traded
Still nothing lasts

A peace I know

Who fixes me?
Mends my broken
Makes whole again
What falls apart
Hugs me tightly
Kisses my tears
Smiles so brightly
When I am near
What I miss most
Since you have gone
Missing pieces
Feeling alone
Inside of me
Fighting for light
Wanting you here
Making things right
When sorrow grows
Seeds you have sewn
Nowhere is found
A peace I know
Ain’t nothing can
Take your place mum
Inside my soul
And letting go
A peace I know...

Creases

Seeking what lay neath the creases
Like crisp blue lines on sheets of white
This adventure in forgiveness
A story I have yet to write
Unburied is our forgotten
Things perhaps better left unsaid
Mighty the pen that soothes the sword
Holding hope, cradling our dead
Will you seek the justice I owe
Wanting peace for things left behind
Reparation and repentance
Wishing for what I’ve yet to find
Dark unveils a lonely sorrow
There are times I wanted to die
With this pen my voice it rises
Bringing rest for my tired mind

Bent

Bent and tired. Her hands cupped. Fingers entwined. She wept. I lay draped across her knees. Whispering that it would be okay. Grasping what she couldn't see. It wouldn't.
Uprooted. Taking apart a lifetime. Putting pieces of her in boxes. Selling her treasures for nickels. He loaded his pickup truck with nary a backward glance. The old house was empty.
A withered mind frail. Black walls filled with memories she could no longer reach. Fighting for her stipend. Warrior princess her ill-fitting crown. Grieving her Father. Mourning what would never be the same.
Finding our way. Muddled rainbows. Leaning heavy on broken shoulders. Our disposable smiles. Pretending what we don't feel. So frightened. Holding her life in my hands cupped in prayer.
A slow awakening. Life renewed. Joy and light, once slayed the dragon. Raising our voices bright again with song. There is hope once more in her old eyes. Peace in our new normal. Queen of our hearts. Restored Faith.
Swift comes the night. Unsettled winds across old bones. Death rattled inside her. Slowly her mind released. She shouts out my name. Eyes unseeing. Reaching for my hand. A final breath. She wants only to go home.
O'er majestic mountains and warm seas a silky wind. She is free and her journey begins.

Waiting for God

A small congregation of people gathered outside a church and I remarked aloud I wonder what they are doing and my daughter replied 'waiting for God'...which inspired this...
Waiting for God
I am waiting for God
For Him to make things right
To help me understand
To help me win this fight
I am waiting for God
To make sense of my pain
Hold my hands in His hands
And make me whole again
I am waiting for God
To take away the night
And fix all my broken
A sparrow lost in flight
I am waiting for God
No longer can I stay
I need for Him to know
That I am on my way

Shadows past

Shadows past lain
Like corpses
Strewn wildflowers
Wanting sun
Wishing away
Casted stones
Stolen peace a
Silvered hope
Faded is my
Redemption
Brittled bones
Of no sleep
She weeps for her
Fallen self
Stood ashamed to
Mourn a past
Cowardice light
Shine on me

sometimes water weeps

Sometimes the water weeps
Washing clean my sins
While I am asleep
Draining my lifeblood
Like fire across the ocean deep
Buried neath what you see
Broken are these bones
Pretending to heal
Taking everything
Lighting a match inside of me
Feeling betrayed
Wondering my place
All my prayers failed
Ain't no grace
This empty space

Who is this girl you see now?

So many faces
All the words she wrote
Picking up the pieces
A puzzle of what used to be
If she knew who she was
Maybe she could be
Free
Underneath skin and bones
Something you haven't seen
Would you recognize
Know her hopes and dreams
If it all lay buried beneath
A grave of banished
Dreams
Neath the stones where my mother weeps
Lay the weight of our unseen
Chameleon pretending
Is there anyone who believes
In this girl washed in grief
Her bloody bandages
Real
Tell me I am pretty
How proud you are of me
The woman I've become
Since you left me
How do I move on
When I feel so
Undone
Can I tell you a story
From so long ago
Once I was rooted
Once I could fly
Gone is the tide
Oh how time passes us
By

Let your Heaven Shine

Let your heaven shine
Fill me with your light
Tell me you love me
From a million miles
Let your star twinkle
As I fall asleep
Kiss my cheek gently
While I softly weep
Tell me a story
One from long ago
Take me home mama
I still miss you so
Let your arms carry
Take me way up high
Hold my hand won’t you
Stay with me awhile
When the morning sun
Steals you from my mind
I will see you soon
In my dreams tonight

In Sorrow

You came to me in sorrow
From tears of cradled despair
In bleakness I am swallowed
At my end I see you there
You give hope for tomorrow
A feather brave weights like stone
Frayed this rope I am tethered
Oh please won't you guide me home
From these shackles release me
On golden wings let me soar
Weep the child for her broken
Grant her peace forevermore

Beautifully Broken - A Collaboration

 A wonderful collaboration with my talented poetic friends - Lena Power & Senga Steel

Beautifully Broken?

I'd had enough when I was still a young child;
beautifully broken? I don't think so,
quite the opposite in fact.
There was nothing beautiful
in the way I was broken.
Broken is beautiful? I don't get that,
broken is broken, unless you can come back.
Senga:
But then, a little chink of light
In all the blackness
Hope rescued me
And placed me down for
Mending, with all the other
Broken souls.
Tissy:
In the mirror I can see
Your faces like mine
Wanting to shine, be more
All our pieces together
Keeping us strong, wielding
Our broken like wings
Waiting to fly
All our broken like fire
In the sky.

Sun Weary

From these eyes sun weary
My heart upon a shelf
A few seconds longer
Til I am not myself
With fairy dust sprinkles
A prayer or two aloud
Regrets I will send you
From high above the clouds
Few who mourn my passing
Know true the path I found
His word is my Bible
And I am Heaven bound
Blessed this road I travel
With many miles to go
Far from home please take me
Gossamer wings of gold

A single drop of rain

A single drop of rain
Like a tear will shed
Filling earth with love
And painting roses red
Grey skies though they darken
The sun will rise again
Let us bless the flower
Who sometimes needs the shade
Mother nature guides us
A tiny piece of grain
Everything has meaning
This single drop of rain

Take Me

Take me
On winds strong
Carry
Me like hope
Forgive
Past undone
Remorse
Moving on
This life
A mirror
Reflects
What is gone
Portrait
What I see
Ain't what
What I know
A seed
From what was
What is
What is done

Jump

Jump
Stand your feet
At the line
All your truths
Pushing at you
Like you was
Nothing
Making claims
On your mind
Preying
Like everyday
Ordinary
Screaming at you
Jump
Feels so good
The wind blowin
Freedom and
You are smiling
Like you was happy
Come on
Don't waste my time
You know you wanna
Jump
Chasing dimes
Swallowed up
Holding back
Every lie
Eating you alive
Look into my eyes
I am dead inside
Jump

Falling like sky

Falling like sky
A drop of rain
Bitter noise
Rushing sideways
Finding peace
You are nothing
This clinging vine
Pulling you
The brightest night
Wearing deep
Rise like the sun
Mad in chatter
Swollen tongue
Weep your willows
Releasing me
From fire swells
His breath thunders
Mighty crowned
In darkness sees
Fallen child

I ain't trying

What you see is all I am
Less is more I figure
A step from where I’m standing
In grace He delivers
Like nothing I am sure of
***
I miss your easy way
The gentle of your smile
Each breath you spent
Was heaven sent
Beguiled by your wiles
I miss your wistful kiss
The sweetness that you are
Your loving arms
And endless charms
My bright, shining star
I miss our what once was
And long for yesterday
No one can take
Your sacred place
Since you went away

Maybe this time

Another year like no other
Something new every day
Pieces of me they wander
To this place sometime somewhere
Wishes and dreams I’ve a million
Memories fill my heart like stone
Casting flies across water
Setting fire to what I know
Take your shadows from my doorstep
Unearth from stones sorrows frowned
Lift me up from my broken
This spell that buries my soul
Lay your heart on these hands feathered
A gift in silence I bring
All things past still my prison
Solace I can never seek
Won’t you lay with me forever
Uncage my heart, set me free
Suffer not for I am weary
Mama won’t you let me be

Chasing Happy

Starting early, a road I took
Missing something, overlooked
All my wisdom and all my good
Forever am misunderstood
Moving often pulling my roots
Checking boxes of things we moved
Ain’t no worries when nothing stays
Lost in the wind are better days
Who is she, staring back at me
Nothing familiar, nothing free
Catching fairies and selling dreams
Buried alive still no one sees
Chasing happy and wanting sleep
Darkness follows and hollow weeps
Ain’t nothing waiting, waiting for me
Swallow the night so I can breathe




Settling Debt

All these words spent
Anger and lies
Searching for something I haven’t felt yet
Irreplaceable
Still I am denied
On my knees ain’t making sense
Troubled waters like nothing
Barely alive
Fucking history what do you know
I held her hand and let it go
Barely clinging you throw at me
This shade sister a blanket
Putting your rage to sleep
Spilling blood like rain on fire
Blowing your smoke
Making your prayers count
Wishing on dimes
Wanting to believe
I am standing all alone
Full of holes
A god damned sieve
Ain’t nothing matters
No one I can shout at
In my corner webs of deceit
Lost and lonely
Talking trees
And empty fields
Cast aside my hands raw
My knuckles bleed
Weeping for a man
I no longer see
And for you mama
Like you still breathe
I need to let you go
So I can finally sleep


Haiku - Light

From darkened shadows
A lingering, brooding light
Wanting to let go
False eyes I cannot see
Prisoner inside my mind
Stories untold bereaved
Lost is the soul denied
Questions to answers seek
Diamond beneath a rock
Buried deep I do weep
Hands turning slowly clocked
Find me in your deceit
A mirror turned facing me
Looking hard a shard freed
Left without nothing
I am what I believe
Girl you are what you see
Somehow I'm what I need
Someone worthy of me

I am nothing

I am nothing
Skin and bones
Voice of dissent
Paying rent
Wishing
Knowing well
Ideas I've plenty
Seeking something
Still I beget
Past regrets
Pasting smiles
On mile highs
Pretending
This life fine
Yeah maybe
Ghosts expired
Set on fire
Lies and truths
Who explains
What we knew
Ain't noone listening
Are you?

Sweet Grass Moonshine

With lusty breaths
A wayward glance
Through delicate strands
A sweetheart dance
Neath midnight blue
On wings of sound
With your gentle breaths
My lover calls
Sweet grass moonshine
Twilight felled soul
Kiss my lips gently
Girl I did know

Nowhere

I ain't going nowhere
I am standing still
Old tracks on new skin
Pressing tin
And rambling weeds
Feeling my sins
Dime-store bags of candy
Paper sacks emptied
Sugared high rolling
Ain’t feeling
This juice flowing
Inside me
Spending all your dollars
I’ll spread my legs babe
Tell me you love me
It’s ok
Wearing these lies
Like a face
So tired
Moving slowly
Where I begin
Is where I end