Thursday, September 27, 2018

Hell Bent

Bring me some cake
Let's celebrate
A candle or
Four to mark our
Passage through life 
Tell me the words
I need to hear
Pretty. Poignant
Worth my ears
Words to live by
Let's figure out
Where you went wrong
These angel wings
I am wearing
Tested and tried
Who are you
Why are you here
Kill this history
Start anew
Damn child
Beguiled
And so lost
Without you
A few pills
To keep me
Exiled
Scared
Fuckin high
Imma rewrite
This life of mine
Don't ask me why
This is my chance
To dance once more
Bury the whore
Even the score
I wanna be
All i was cracked
Up to be when
I was just three
Create a past
Worthy of me
Maybe then
All my sin
Forgotten
Buried within
This four-by-four
They keep me in
My reckoning
Devil's blessing
Restless dissent
Hell bent
Retroactive
Misspent intent
Postage due
No return
Errant daughter
Sent to pasture
Time has run out
***

I miss you

When the night air stills
Quiet permeates
All traces of you
Time cannot erase
Little reminders
Seeds of our life spent
Waves of water high
Come crushing hell bent
Sorrow lingers near
Adrift memories
Pictures I hold dear
I wish to set free
Longing for what was
And will never be
My soul is deluged
When we became me
Lonely tear escapes
Revealing my truth
Betrayed by my heart
For I still miss you
***

Do you not see the rainbow

Do you not see the rainbow?
Spilling colour from both sides
The rise of the morning sun
All glory, lest glory hides
Sweeping breathless the willow
Fly golden moons and shadows
Seep sweetly as new dawn breaks
Only then my darling goes
Gentle lips upon my cheek
Forged in dreams the day has lost
Watery depths unknown I roam
Tick-Tock. Tick-Tock. Time un-wound
Do you not see the rainbow?
Draped across a summer sky
Soaked in tears, those forgotten
Rise in flight, a lover’s sigh
***

Happy Birthday Mum

Distance feeds upon our minds
Fading memories built from life
Time, a thief of clarity
Taking youth and dignity
Unwound, stilled journey found
Presenting who I’ve become
Goodbye to that little girl
Telling lines, her hands tremble
Gentle pressed into mine, crying
Broken memories un-pieced
Wearing the passage of time
Milky tears mar hugs and cheers
Gift to this woman so dear
Giving wings to her glory
In her seventy-fifth year
***

Gobsmacked

Lost girl, your truth 
Abused 
Misspent
Your face and name
Relevant
Accelerate
Fast-moving train
Emptied pockets
A liar's game
Fantasize
Wonder this life
Spill my breath
Splayed sane
Captivate
Infatuate
Attracted
Distracted
Lover, what's your play?
Kiss me
Send me flying
High my desire
Wishes and dimes
Whores and good times
What do you want?
Is now the time
Understand
Reprimand
Figure out
What it's about
Gimme a dollar
Yours for an hour
Gobsmacked
I'm jacked
Want to retract
Every mistake
That i ever made
Yeah that's the way
This game is played


***

Hash Tag

A few careless words
To the world at large
Spouting my wisdom
Half-cocked and deluged
Clever little girl
Drunken pedestal
Wants to scream and shout
Tell you what is real
Pseudo is my ‘nym’
Pulpit preach a game
Repression of my,
Expression is not
In the equation
Rather I sit in
Judgement, while spewing
sanctimonious
Truth. Crapping on your
Constitution.
Twitter reporter
Interested supporter
Social Media
Platform of false news
Rise from the shadow
Trolls lurking after
Every misstep
Beg you to falter
I have to wonder
If I should blunder
I shall earn my own
Hash Tag result!


***

Dark Horse

This dark horse
Forever
She is lost
Led astray
Sinners pray
Find their way
False claims
Judgement day
Holy grail
God's labyrinth
Wicked games
Shameful ways
Innocence
Takes my place
Blood is spilled
Against her
Broken will
Shattered is
False promise
Wilted, worn
She is torn
Assunder
Start anew
Please save her
On one knee
Silently
Pew and plea
Darling child
Lost in wild
Surviving
All she knows
To keep sane
Intended
Descendant
Fresh her pain
Wiped clean
New face and
A new name
Restless girl
Bewildered
Grey cinder
Dark horse your
Tricks and trysts
Flawed remiss
Seeking truths
Forgiveness
Haunted youth
Used vessel
Altared sin
Impassioned
Suicide
Waging war
Wanting more
Hide her eyes
Shield the pain
Valley girl
Laying still
Nothing left
A dark shell
***

Sandbox Hopes

Thousands of footprints in the sand
Ending and starting nowhere
Where all my dreams come to land
Building castles and skipping stones
Crashing waves riding the tide
Reminisce a childhood lost
Wishes begat false with time
Pebbled is the journey home
Cremated flesh of our past
Lifted souls in our cupped hands
Faithful in the stones we cast
Set free our bones in the sand
Sandbox hopes, feathery light
Youthful prayer to carry them
Diamond kisses fire the sky
Gentle rains with age does fade
***

Life

The night falls
Pouring into the sky
Swallowing the Sun
Spilling into the ocean
Rising from its floor 
Reaching for the shore
Shadows forge
Lifting from the walls
Seeping from the ceiling
Waiting neath the errant light
Succumbing to death
Stealing my last breath
Dawn escapes
Bleeding from the Sun
Spreading across the land
Coaxing life and hope from seed
Chasing our cobwebs
Bringing peace instead
***

I'm OK

Do you wonder, whether
Or think of me ever
When the night star lowers
As we lay in slumber
Am i on your mind
When the dawn greets your day
In a pew, deep in prayer
Will your mind ever stray
To the life you threw away
Do you remember
A new world without you
Misspent tears, my lost roots
Faith restores this lost girl
Seeking truth in her world
Dad, I forgive you
Bright eyes, my precious child
Learning how to survive
Angel wings taking flight
For your soul, his denied
My life after death
***

False Image

All my frailty laid plain
See beneath waters deep
False image so easy
When you see me, see me
Pretty girl happy, light
Rumble 'neath the precious
Gods of my distant past
Cruel are your games played
Monsters take me away
Wishing i had not strayed
Forgiveness white canvas
Spill your dissent in blood
Jubilant the naysayers
Come to your pulpit raw
Hear truths yet unbroken
Tomorrow soon will come
Lest the rising tide heed
Seeking peace in pieces
Make your move please my King
Find release in check mate
***

Tolerance

In between grey and white
Rainbow of colors lay
Beyond ordinary 
Is unique done my way
Very different from you
I surely understand
Won't you stay and listen
Sameness can be quite bland
Self-expression we dance
And beat to our own drum
Every step and each note
Is ours and ours alone
Rather dull is a world
Where we all look the same
To be like each other
Would be a crying shame
I want to be someone
That no one else can be
Imperfectly, perfect
An original me!
***

If Only We Believed

If only we believed
In this power we hide
Uncertainty rails
Festering deep inside
Her truth remains silent
Fearful of taking root
Still we try to survive
Fill my heart take refuge
Step toward the unknown
Wanting, needing something
Betrayed by all she bleeds
Rest her eternity
Sad girl wipe dry your eyes
Is this life you seek real
Shedding leaves false disguise
Dampened spirits bury
Wishing only to breathe
Hallowed girl recognize
Timid soul, quiet, shy
My time has come for me
To say to you goodnight
***

Remnants

I have so many things I want to say to you
Deep inside my heart, the remnants of our truth
For outside I am broken, unable to see
This beauty that lays before me and let it breathe
Warring tread the shadows, wanting to find their place
Dancing within the madness, willing their restraint
I am lost in darkness, beneath the blinding Sun
Wishing for refuge, to forget you and move on
If I could paint a picture, perhaps you might see
The depths of the sorrow that lingers within me
In this night on bended knee, I pray for release
To ease my weary soul and let my bruises heal
I have so many things I want to say to you
Hidden inside of me, a love forever true
For outside I am broken and may always be
Wanting you and wishing that you would set me free
***

Who are you to tell me?

Who are you to tell me
What is right from wrong
You proclaim in your verse
Perpetuate in song
Everything that I know
Or ever did believe
From the bible stories
Of Adam and of Eve
It says so in scripture
So, penned his holy word
A manger and donkey
Miraculous His birth
God the Father, Jesus
His only righteous son
Pretentious and passing
Judgement on everyone
Somewhat a magician
Splitting the sea in two
Making wine from water
A follower or two
Crips and Bloods have nothing
Quite amazing his feat
Apostles his army
Very hard to defeat
When I lay down each night
I pray for him to keep
On his list of Angels
For Hell gives me the creeps
***

Story of her death

Splayed across a canvas
Spilled in brilliant reds
Vibrant her blood painted
The story of her death
Dark the moon remembered
False the golden sun
Liquid she is melting
Beneath the lonely ground
Seek forever freedom
A quest made for truth
Gather the forgotten
To mourn these souls bruised
Weep my brother will you
Care naught for this world
Break my heart in pieces
Adrift and lost this girl
***

Sex and Drugs and Lies

They threw a blanket over us
Like it was a game
How many pills do you count
Take a drink she screams
Why am i even here
No one knows for sure
A few more minutes
Thy will be done
So far away from home
Peace in the valley
Knockin at heaven's door
All of this is bullshit
No one knows for sure
Escape a life empty
Sex and drugs and lies
What the fuck is life's meaning
Ain't no message from God above
Angels and demons battle
For their happy-ever-after
All i want is to survive
Preordained and hypnotized
No one knows for sure
Perhaps one day soon
Glimmering hope pursues
Stems the wicked, weds the fool
At his altar denies my good
Nonone knows for sure
***

Fallen Angel

This fallen angel
Sullied dirty wings
From his grace eclipsed
Let our voices sing
Lift me father please
Girl on bended knee
Pray eternally
Dear Lord set her free
In Sun shining bright
Let darkness swallow
Take all of her light
And rest the morrow
Give me peace will you
Forgive me my sins
Seek redemption and
Swell the hurt within
Rest gently my moon
Wretched earthly sighs
From ashes I soar
This eagle in flight
***

Did I Ever?

Did I ever matter
I really want to know
Every choice I made
Unchanged my broken soul
Demons weighted weary
Unable I to go
You left me wandering
Lost inside false hope
Waiting foolish girl for
Someday you may return
As you carve from my bones
My flesh to soothe your wounds
I want only to believe
That maybe I was loved
Promises to fell this girl
In lonely she does dwell
Adrift in black waters
Her own personal hell
Reach please to quell this storm
Imprisoned soul expels
Lightening curses her night
When I pass up yonder
Her heart she leaves behind
Spill my blood dear brother
Whisper my name darling
Cry victim to the winds
Prayerful wings in flight
Forgiving me my sins
***

When he gets home

If you listen
You just might hear
Crazy noises
Nothing to fear
Curious sounds
Bumps and plops
Lots of oohs and
Plenty of awwws
One might wonder
What's going on
Mom's door is locked
A light does creep
Casting a glow
From just beneath
She must be up
I am quite certain
I heard something
Won't you listen
Squeaks and rattles
And groaning moans
Can't mom hear it
It seems so loud
Surely something
Must be broken
Dad will fix it
When he gets home
***

Filtered

Filtered
Distance
Casting
Masking
This joy
Taken
From me
A word
Or more
To show
My worth
Still you
Are on
Your way
Trailing
Failing
Summons
My dark
Wrapping
Trapping
Failed art
I am
Falling
Apart
My pieces
Scattered
Betwixt
Between
A chasm
Within
We shall
Never
Mend or
Bend or
Yield we
Pretend
Only
Once a
Wish young
In truth
Yearns for
Something
At all
From you
Wrapped in
Stills and
Painted
Light blue
Troubling
Doubling
Holy
Calling
Seeking
To soothe
Help me
She writes
Wistful
Lonely
Broken
In two
***

Fester

Hey there, unheeded prayer
Let’s hang out for awhile
Fester and blister dear
All I am is who you are
Wishes are pennies and
I have a few, still I
Wish for a life brand new
Testify, give me you
Sweet darling speak your truth
Slam dunk, stay will you please
I ain’t going nowhere
This is me on my knees
Sometimes life brings you down
Shout aloud, let it out
Crazy town, say goodbye
Mediocrity ain’t
No crime, just killing time
Until we meet next time
***

Fatigued

I am unable to breathe
Heavy this stone upon me
Fatigued the blessings beneath
Pressed still these angel wings
Heavenly scented waters
Perfumed with lavender thyme
Quell this weary traveler
Rest her wandering mind
With quiet force you pull me
Dark your troubled waters churn
Erase this pain i carry
Grant peace when peace is earned
***