Saturday, March 2, 2019

Unsettle my Undone

Perfect imperfection
Flawed in so many ways
Convoluted my truth
Brutish naivety
A solemn disregard
Frantic this peace of mind
Uncanny misfortune
Perpetuated unwind
Seemingly believing
Impure is this pure heart
Unbendable mettle
Indignant disregard
Sentimental longing
Wistful contemplation
Raging tears quietly
Unsettle my undone


I am done

I am done
I can’t do this
My wishes
All that I
Worked for and more
I did try
As I promised
Though you still
Wanted much more
Your whores and
Your trysts, god-damned
Mean nothing more
I am done
What I needed
From you, gone
A new life
A life of truth
Free from you
I paid my dues
Wisdom I have
Earned my dear
I am done
I must move on
I can’t be
Yours anymore

King of Kings

There is a peace
Within my soul
A quiet hope
This crazy world
A baby boy
Who brings us joy
His gifts of love
The prophets told
Snow capped mountains
And starry skies
Gentle rivers
And men so wise
There is magic
In Bethlehem
This old barn
That bears His name
A drummer boy
His gift of song
No room for him
Yet he was born
A King of Kings
Ordinary men
Under his rule
Would rise again
On bended knee
We celebrate
The Lord our God
This special day

You Walked Away

You walked away
Choosing to leave
Not looking back
You couldn’t see
The life that grew
Our broken tree
Making something
From history
Rooted my dear
From you and me
Only better
A life now free
Beautiful girl
A girl who needs
Filled with promise
She now believes
In what she knows
And what she sees
In the mirror
When she sees me


I pretend not to see
Streaming rays, unguarded light
What creates hope, bears dismay
Borne of demons, unholy night
Cast your shadows, lay claim
Colored sympathies bare
Stricken of ribbons, silk
Writhing for all to stare
Withhold your blossom, Rose
Seeking shelter in sun
False stay the light, taking
Sense from this mind undone
Heavy the tithe owing
Toil the seeds that have sewn
Dark the light's forgiveness
A peace I shall not know

Miles of Road

Miles of road, a ribbon of white
Staring into the face of night
Half a moon like a beacon flies
Kissing darkness, making it light
Fireflies kept inside a jar
Caged hope, it will never get far
Release the sun for it to shine
Thunderbolts, fire in the sky
Scattered pebbles to guide my way
Hollow footsteps where life I made
Trampled roses beneath my feet
Paper houses on boring streets
Hundreds of miles before I go
Prays this God I pretend to know
Neon lights the facade of home
Lonely is the place I come from


Hops, steps and hurdles
Sometimes, trying times
Inept, my fumbles
Bumbling and crossed-lines
Such imperfections
Tight-fitting your lies
Feeling unworthy
Still I will survive
A new dawn, brazen
Like a shooting star
Filling up the night
Keeping troubles far
Great expectations
Wishing just for you
Hope, my cup runneth
Faith, a gift renewed
Champagne and roses
A toast to those dear
Never forgotten
Lost loves this past year
Take my hand darling
Together unite
Peace for my brethren
Celebrate this night

My Story

I will write my story
Tell you in my own words
Who will love a sinner
Until my voice is heard
In time my pain lessens
Redemption from my grief
Never will I forget
The life that I once lived
Regrets I know plenty
A past of my untruths
Release me from my pain
The pain of losing you
I wish I could tell you
The words you need to hear
Somehow show you darling
Erase all of your fears
Time steals our innocence
We must never look back
Still my feet are leaden
My world it fades to black

Dear Sinner

Hey little girl won’t you stay
Come with me
Ride this rocket to your place
You can fly, you ain’t trying
I need you
Let us stop our denying
Yeah we’ve got this figured out
Stand up. Let’s make it count
This doubt
I’m out
Live wire, my desire
Cmon girl
Yeah, your ticket to stardom
Petrified, my real ain’t shy
You and me
Damn, enough of this dying
Expose me, I am bleeding
Dear sinner
Disbelief and disfigured
Don’t forget, we both know it
This. Our time. We are finished
This ain’t
A game
My pain


If you knew me now
What would you say
Inside my mind
You never went away
Faded stills of you
Forever stay
Untouched heartbeats
The toils of yesterday
And of my father
Unrooted, felled
Learning broken
Grandpa, you taught him well
Would you kiss my cheek
Be proud of me
For words I write
These words that help me heal
Would you remember
The little girl
Quiet and shy
You mattered in her world
A river of tears
Unbridged, lost ways
I would choose you
To meet again one day


Blood runs thin
Ties that bind
All of you
Inside me
Nothing else
Sets me free
Lonely girl
Let me be
What I need
My future
Ain’t what it
Should be or
Could ever
Be, damn genes
A picture
Of me, take
Parts of me
Tell me your
Story please
I’m a girl
And my world
Will ever
Only feel
Like I am
Someone who
Wants to be
Your best friend


I am filled with desire 
With every glimpse,
I soak you in
Oh how you tease me
Your coy ways
and nuances
You fill me
I come back to you, 
over and over 
You are a master
Every word, delights
and enthrals me
Such pleasure 
Born from every touch
You take me places,
I have never been
To worlds I can only imagine 
I writhe in anticipation 
I am yours completely 
Take me
Fill me
With passion and joy
Oh how you make me feel
With a single word from you,
I will cry, laugh and mourn for you
I will remember 
Never forget
This story you tell
Pressed from your lips
Pristine sheets of white paper
Glistened with your tears
I will come to you
Again and again
I feel your pain

Listen to the spoken word version on my SoundCloud -

All My Yesterdays

I don’t want to visit
All my yesterdays
There is no joy or love
These days I wish away
A past dark and haunting
Bereft of any light
Filled with quiet lonely
Forever is my night
Time has not forgotten
My heart cannot forgive
Trust not the path taken
Day by day I shall live
Hope for my tomorrow
The setting sun will rise
Fragrant, the flowers bloom
This life again is mine


I aint goin nowhere
But I aint here to stay
All of me is leaving
Trying to find my way
When the neon lights scream
Singing what we don't know
Sometimes life ain't perfect
My stage is empty now
Fly little angel
Soar across the sky
Bring your peace to me
While I close my eyes
Wanting what I never
Have ever felt before
Thinking someday maybe
I will stop wanting more
Hush my darling girl
Rest your weary mind
Fill your heart with dreams
Leave regrets behind

Mirror of our Past

Estranged, what does that mean
Mistakes, we come to see
A past forgotten still
Unyielding to our needs
Apologies nothing
Sentimental old fool
We think in forgiveness
You’re only fooling you
Rather I’ll not see you
The mirror of our past
Who you once were, is not
The man beneath the mask
Two halves forever part
I wish someday maybe
That you forget me not
A call you never make
Regrets you tuck away
I want to be someone
Not one of your mistakes
Do you ever feel sad
Do you remember me
Is your life so much more
Without the me in we
I wonder if you know
How much you meant you see
My absolute hero
And now, I don’t believe

Silent Screams

Silent screams behind wooden eyes. My fingers,
tapping mindlessly, I stare blankly ahead
dreaming of death.

Fucking boredom like squealing tires on black tar.
A contrived calm, I still my breath by counting -
blinded by sun.

Tick-tock. Tick-tock. Languishing like idle fire.
Seeping madness dripping neath the swelling din,
stealing my breath.

Imposter. This fox in sheep’s clothing. I mewl.
Desperation bleeds from my brow, shallow heart -
beats resurrect.

Defying ordinary taking blood from
a stone. Silken whispers caressing me,
like a sweet kiss.

Dark majesty, beautiful unravelling
inside of me.  Weeping truth forsaking the
evil within.



Is there meaning in this worn out world
Shallow depths found in an ocean’s breeze
Macabre fixation on what is sane
Travesty of faith in make believe
Triumphantly I will raise my voice
High, from the rafters, sing His glory
When the weariness is beating you
Rise, tell everyone your story
Come with me to our forever home
Unjust is this place we left behind
In truth, beauty like a cream will rise
Embrace the Sun, let us start this life

You want me to like you

You want me to like you
Still you treat me like shit
Your jokes are not funny
Foolish ways, cruel your wit
You want me to love you
Like no one else can do
These tears I cry they fall
Only because of you
This black and blue inside
Happy for all to see
I cry every night
For you to set me free
If you ever loved me
Please stop and take a breath
If I ever mattered
My darling let me rest
You want me to forget
The things you used to do
Erase the remembers
And hope for something new
Perhaps one day maybe
Looking back together
You will see that we
Are not for each other
My precious little girl
Please will you hold my hand
Tell me you are sorry
And once more start again


I will not step back
Sit down or unshout
Rooftop truth
Catch me
I am falling
For it to make sense
Of the situation
Creates obligation
I want nothing
From you
You choose
To lose
It won't soothe
Ease your pain
Making mistakes
Part of your fame
My Sister, this game
Tired of playing
This anhilated
Is overrated
Wasted space
In your place
Got to be
Other than me
Will you
Let me
Please set
Me free

I Am Not Free

I am not free
I hide myself
From you
Let you believe
My smile is real
This pain inside
Is real
It steals my breath
I am always
I am not free
I am hobbled
My pieces glazed
In sunshine like
Stained glass
Sad art
I am not free
I am what you
Need me to be

Empty Bottles

Empty bottles
Scattered, forlorn
Hope unyielding
Second guessing
Girl I only 
Want what I'm owed
Damn this street and
What it takes from
Me, damn tired
I wish to be
Free like the wind
Like a whisper
Longing, wanting
Let me dream and
Be what I need
All your hatred
If we could talk
Someday, maybe
We might somehow
See what we are
Missing, you and
Me like two hearts
Hoping that we
Together, meant
To be as one
Forever and
Ever you see
Our truth undone
Our halves become
So completely
What we believe
Is life unfreed


I clap for the Sun as it waits beneath the rain
Through the shedding sorrow is a beacon of Hope

Unseen. These eyes who no longer feel the sun’s warmth
Wearing loneliness like a black veil, deeply cloaked

Unswept are sands rooted in muddied waters
Stillness of her breath, uneasy pretence of calm

Thick, wagging tongues lolling and spewing their hatred
Mourn the death of light for she is forever gone

In silent winds you can smell the scent of past bloom
This dance of longing and make-believe, she is free

Embrace this day. Spread your wings, let your spirit fly
Forgive us our sins my darling, for you we weep


Solemn Grace

I sit in solemn grace amongst the refuge
Seeing not the soot nor unbridled lacking
Yet I am present and still not really here
I blend like graffiti art on a brick wall
All of me discounted, never am I seen
A piece of a city rather forgotten
The sum of all my parts counting for nothing
Quietly my voice rages like a song bird
Dulcet tones that you seed in your gilded cage
Beneath mountains majestic and yellow sun
A heart beats, capturing glory in this life
Shadows of the soul remain unsettled
Giving breath to what is lifted and unearthed
Wings for those who falter and no longer rise
Seeking solace in the hereafter we make
Our swords upon the bloodied ground which we lie
Wanting forgiveness. Begging indifference
Mistreating our lost and forging our own truths

Winding Paths

Fast you take me
Winding paths I
Ride these roads on
Which I am bound
Seek the trails for
I make my own
Settled winds scream
Unsettled sands
Relent nothing
Yet go forward
Moving swiftly
Forever lost
Charcoal ivy
Whispered sunshine
Desperate I
Want but nothing
Except to need
What you believe
Fettered fire
Black coals ire
Unsure that this
Peace we seek is
Within our reach
Let me please sleep


In corners there breathes darkness
A precipice of fallen
Edges bringing broken to
All that we have meant
Swing the gavel upon the
Throne of injustice, yet we
Speak as though we do not know
This truth inside me
Shine a light from our daylight
Shadows fall on untold songs
Grieving things left long forgotten
Still our hearts belong
Whisper the voice of madness
Beckons me neath waters deep
Swept into my gentle arms
silently you do weep

Never Yours

Fallen, bent with sorrow
Unsure. My mind twisted
Fearful of tomorrow
Dark this path I wander
Lingering is my doubt
Constant is his shadow
Swollen glory swathed in
a veil of my darkness
I am buried in him
Pressed breaths to the lid of
my coffin, choosing death
Broken am I from love
Scented windows picture
Ghosts of my past, haunting
this life of mine impure
Wondrous eyes will you see
Wet neath this concrete slab
whispers of hope pushing
Solemn prayers, widows gasp
Unseen. Taking what was
never yours, from your grasp


But feathers lay between us
Slivers of fear left broken
Unwind this chatter claiming
Pieces, my uncluttered soul
Giant steps leading nowhere
Spiralling out of control
Pictures of madness taken
Very heights of my despair
Lassoed Sun diminishes
Light from a sky untoward
Hoping for perhaps brilliance
For they always let you down
In black coal a light may shine
Obscured by what faith has lost
Dense is my retribution
Giving what was never mine
Whisper the mask of my death
Seeking truth where evil lies
Untold stories my demise
Stealing the life from my breath

Wishing on Dandelions

For where there is light
Hope is revealed as glory
and our faith restored
Within our dreams our
hearts roam free setting fire to
I still dream of you,
wishing on dandelions
you will forgive me
In this heart, lost love
bleeds slowly into my soul,
wanting only peace
Frosted panes reveal
a melancholy,
brewing discontent
Chastise the pauper,
seeking those who have
Foolish games fallen
Rid the demons from
my black soul, wanting
to rest the weary

Neath the Creases

Seeking what lay neath the creases
Like crisp blue lines on sheets of white
This adventure in forgiveness
A story I have yet to write
Unburied is our forgotten
Things perhaps better left unsaid
Mighty the pen that soothes the sword
Holding hope, cradling our dead
Will you seek the justice I owe
Wanting peace for things left behind
Reparation and repentance
Wishing for what I’ve yet to find
Dark unveils a lonely sorrow
There are times I wanted to die
With this pen my voice it rises
Bringing rest to my tired mind


Like a diamond, shining in the Sun
Facets of her beauty, glorious
Filled with light, like moonbeams forever
dancing neath a blanket of starlight
Seeking wisdom in simplicity
Hoping for honesty, free from pain
Every breath is pure and needful
Shedding tears for what we never knew
Forgive the past for it haunts me still
Living falsely, hiding who I am
Bless me Father, for my sins remind
me that I am human after all
In your shadow, I am now fading
Wanting for the sun to give me life
Drawing strength from the depth of sorrow
Making pages from my discontent

Whispers of Richness

Whispers of richness,
climbing like ivy
Across the page,
like spider webs
Moments captured in
snapshots like foreign
stills stealing grace
Begging you please
Wanton I am splayed
like petals across
a garden I
am missing you
Lift up my root, hold
me dearly to your breast
Fill me with breath
Take me away


You give me light
Hope, where there is night
Breaking dawn you
fill me with your strength
Shine bright soldier
Quiet this warring
soul and keep me
forever stumbling
Elevate me
Lift me where I can
no longer see who
I was long ago
You are brilliance
You are hope, kindness
you give makes me shine
Dance with me friend
Let our hearts unite
Walk with me please
Let our paths combine


Like silver streaking in a glum night
Bare of hope and still I want to fly
Teardrops glisten upon icy shores
Fearful hearts risen, bringing me home
Wrested doubt like cinder and ashes
Plumes of smoke dancing in the shadows
In dark recesses no longer free
Blind to this miracle before me
Plentiful my remorse glad of stone
Burdened shoulders this cross I have worn
Unlikely hero holding my heart
Faith of my Father, ne’er I do part

We are like graffiti

We are like graffiti, splattered on a concrete wall.
Splintering like shards of glass in the lazy sun
assaulting the pristine calm.
Still you are drawn to its ugliness, unable to
look away. Captive to her swinging pendulum,
she beckons you in shadows.
Seeds of withered longing woven into dense city
breaths, languishing this quiet morn. Waxing a dull
grey sheen darkening her face.
A commuter train passes slowly by, playing her
symphony. Such madness. Screeching metal twisting
in dire, tormented winds.


Darkness Brews

Darkness brews beneath her smile
Like forced whispers; a foray
Into madness, like stills of
A family forgotten
Ruptured melancholy breathes
Poison into the inane,
Strangling ordinary and
Hoping to survive blandness
From bloody fields rises
Wanting only to quell this
voice, sounding mindlessly in
this copse of wood, uncharted
Winding rivers filled. Currents
foraging deep waters and seeking
Hope like golden wishes. Lifted
dreams muddied upon the shore

Ghosts of dreams

Ghosts of dreams, lost in reeds
Bound in churning waters
and clinging like ivy 
across a sooted floor
In night, shadows unfurl
my demons, casting stones
Flailing, holding my breath
Wanting only release
This mask swallows me whole,
rinsed with fallen tears and
haunted by memories
of you. Empty, my soul
Hold my hand and let me
pray for what I have lost
Needing forgiveness, a
blessing in this dark heart

Pressed Napkins

A lonely teardrop waits
upon a rosy cheek
With beating heart, I seek
redemption. I am yours
My heart wars silently
A passing ship, unseen
Still waters anchor my
broken, seeking my truth
Lost at sea, pining for
shores left behind. Buried
promises, sunken treasure
This piece of me now gone
Still I hope. Our stories
folded like pressed napkins
Blackened soul, like charcoal
holding hope in our hands

Dying Along the Way

Dying along the way
petals falling from the
bone. Tearing flesh. Sinking
teeth into the unknown
Faded stills. Wanting more
than questions asked. Denied
Seeking wisdom unlearned
Desperate are our hearts
Like paintings moored, concrete
canvases beneath the
glare of fluorescent lights
A circus of my death
Gather we, mindlessly
selling ourselves, hoping
for only redemption
Shouting from my pulpit
God damned this bended knee
Like a prisoner. Falsely
begging your forgiveness
Unearth these stones you cast

I Can Fly

When I was small
I remember
Words you once said
Made to break me
Still here am I
I know I can
Fly. Soaring heights
Canvas of white
Chasing rainbows
Flights of fancy
A world denied
Big girls don't cry
Lost secrets in
Windows of night
Desperate are
These dreams of mine

feeling alone

death among the living,
like fallen leaves upon
a mossy floor
bent and heaving boughs
strangling me, denying
warmth from the sun
bleeding crimson beneath
a winter storm, captive
feeling alone


In our broken

In our broken we hold hope
Like stones thrown out to sea
Remembering those we loved
Fantasies of who we need
A girl who once was, and may
Perhaps one day still be
Looking to her tomorrow
From today please set her free
This night it claims the lonely
Wanting only your time
Holding you tight inside me
This old heart, forever mine
In distance you may see her
This beauty of your faith
From her, in her, a golden
Lullaby now takes your place
Today is ordinary
Like any other day
Where wonder meets regular
And our life is not the same

Winding Road

A song collaboration with my dear friend Molly Hanna Gliddon

Setting out on this winding road
Taking me where I don’t want to go
With its many twists and turns
Tell me what am I searching for?
I want to hold you one more time
Time, you have taken your toll on me
Seeking truth in our memories
Travelling until I am free
Oh, winding road
Won’t you please take me
To a place, a place I’ve seen
If only in my dreams
From my rearview mirror I now see
Lost loves that I know never will be
This road I am on is lonely
Making music, my brothers and me
Country road, won’t you bring home
Given a choice, this fork in the road
Restoring this life that I hold
Travelling to a place I know
Time has passed and my light has dimmed
My darling I will see you again
Wishing for the what might have been
Looking for the life I have l lived
When my journey comes to an end
Less travelled is my broken path
Remember the times that we shared
Live the memories, make them last
If I should search for what once was
Across this land of bruises and scorn
Though our road may be less travelled
This road will surely lead me home


All of me is lost
inside of this girl
I no longer love
Who she used to be
Figment of a life
My heart aches seeing
what you no longer
see inside of me
Like rushing waters, my heart bleeds
Crashing waves across stormy seas
Undo this hurt, deep inside me
Slowly dying I cannot breathe
Screaming winds like a
lover’s final sigh
Gentle is your flight


It is time to say goodbye
Rushing winds no longer sigh
The darkness covers her light
Like ink spilling on a page
Left to mourn this lonely grave
Her forever resting place
Silent, the woods embrace her
Earthen fires keep her warm
With each setting sun, Glory
In her place a moon will come

My ghosts now pray

On bended knee
My ghosts now pray
Seeking new hope
Praying for your
past betrayals
Damn I’m tired
Grace, expired
Heal this scarred heart
From the pulpit rise
Mere mortal, disguised
Lend me please your voice
Sing his praise, glory
In his name we sing
Hallelujah named
Tell him I’m sorry
Figment of my mind
Heaven sent
Glory spent
Angels have denied
Proclaim my faith
Place your blame
Tell me do you mind?
In his mercy
Bloody your lies
Will you please tell
me who I am?
I am the wind
I am water
Winding like a
river deep, till
I find my way


I am lifted
Taken in haste
Broken angel
Spiral from grace
Blinded by Sun
Too bright too see
Fallen angel
Never was free
Weary footsteps
No turning back
Unblessed angel
Fade into black
Rise up darling
Folded in prayer
Angel at peace
No longer cares
Lonely dark hearts
Fill us with sin
Seeking something
Until the end
Angel of mercy
Oh please let me die
Nobody’s baby
Forgotten am I

Unwashed Deliverance

Pieces unfitted strewn
across a carpet bare
Shattered heartbeats fragile
worn with frightening care
Unwashed deliverance
beneath a godly stare
Emptied sins like crimson
stations, buyers beware
Sifted madness fleeting
with nary stream or fare
Orphaned conscience taking
sanity from our wares
Flight into dark shadows
naked this cross to bear
Unsettled wings soaring
like leadened wreaths despaired

Unanswered Questions

Are there questions unanswered
Prayers for what I do not know
Every piece of my soul
Fighting to be someone loved
Seeds from a wish untaken
Floating in a wind unknown
Reaching to hold forever
Still I am feeling alone
Wanting only to break free
Little girl, can you please see
This lion amid angels
Tired hearts want to believe
Precious hours claim my soul
Dark the children who bow
Selling me to save our hearts
This child, broken I now doubt
Finally is forever
Shaken is this mind released
Festered lies my darling cries
Will you please deny this peace

In the Shadows

Sometimes I live in the shadows
Wishing for what I do not know
Fragments of light spearing darkness
Filling me with a bit of hope
Every seed of doubt rises
Fumes from the city’s concrete floor
I am lost amid the rubble
Dead fish upon a sandy shore
Homeless praying for forgiveness
Seeking what is not really there
Pretending you really matter
A cancer like a thorn despaired
Take my breaths from my weighted chest
Lift me from this summer slumber
Hold my lonely against your brow
Counting down the final number
Poor man who marries my daughter
Take the cow, forgive me my sins
Blessed darling, father’s orphan
Waiting for my life to begin

Masquerade of Peace

In crevices and creases lonely breeds
Worn like pulled yarn stretched tautly at the seams
Fluttered remnants of wishes hoping to
land like an unfettered breeze she can’t see
Emptied Hope, her golden chalice lay bare
Vibrant the mask she wears, painted fear
The depth of sorrow unyielding, beating
heart dancing to sounds only she can hear
Fragrant desperation reeks of liquor
False Gods promising fulfillment and still
they bring only unhappiness tonight
Weary she is blind to pain, lost will
Seconds vibrate her skull, every breath
maddening and demanding her release
Searching for something, this tiny bottle
brings unto her a masquerade of peace

Listen to Masquerade of Peace on SoundCloud for a live reading -

Shallow Waters

Shallow waters and shiny pebbles
Glistening beneath a blazing sun
Quietly this silence screams loudly
Echoes of a cannon’s final boom
Streaks of madness in an azure sky
Seeking solace floating in false calm
Gentle angels wearing wings broken
Standing and waiting for her undone
Wilted longing for pastures of green
Golden stalks, planted fields filling night
Testify to this god almighty
Fallen from heights, let this fire die
Lovely is her sorrow, like petals
weeping in a tumultuous wind
Capture her fragile to my breastbone
Angel mercy let my soul return

Butterflies and Slushy Skies

You used to be someone special
A piece of my beating heart
Wedges borne of circumstance
Breaking you and I apart
Butterflies free in slushy skies
Feeling something good inside
An icecap melting in time
Like a piece of me has died
Painted red the color of love
Blossomed pure is nature's gift
Fallen night brings darkened hues
Aching still for what I miss