Wednesday, March 28, 2018

I'll let you know

When I’ve had enough
I will let you know
When the rose no longer blooms
And sparrow no longer sings
It will be my time to go

If our story ends
Somewhere down the road
Should the Prince find a new love
Or the Princess kiss a frog
Let us part without sorrow

Dare your heart betray
And leave me behind
Seek solace in her embrace
Should she want to take my place
I shall mask pain in a smile

When new love blossoms
Renewed my heart grows
Regrets for wrongs un-righted
Lost love now unrequited
For lonely the heart grows cold

***

What you taught me

You can take and never give
You can be and never live
You can lie and you can cheat
In the name of the father
You can leave your wife
and break your daughter
You tell me I’m not enough
You can leave when things get rough
You can take all I believed
You taught me everyone leaves
Thank-you Dad, you taught me all I know
You taught me when I should stay;
how easy it is to go
Love it is temporary
Contempt is ordinary
You showed me women are strong
Never to admit I’m wrong
You made me believe, my talent’s not real
Taught me how to hide everything I feel
You gave me strength, when I thought I had none
You made lies feel like love and
stole a life from all who loved

***

Sunday, March 25, 2018

Savage

Do it
Pull the trigger
You know you want to
Your Faith
Knows a place
Waiting for you

End it
Why hesitate?
No strings on you
You choose
You can’t lose
Create your truth

Hurry
Are you ready?
Life can be cruel
Your mind
Is tired
Sound the bugle

These voices in my head
Making noises
Making choices
He rejoices
My sanity has fled

***

Quarrel

My heart worn upon my sleeve
An iron mettle deceive
Thieves of me
Perfumed whispers gently frames
Writhing venom a tongue splayed
Cruel game
Passive lover fight for me
Lead me into wondrous dreams
I believe
Seek redemption in my kiss
Stand the fire for mere bliss
To exist
Conjured demons break this spell
A passionate betrayal
Love's quarrel

***

Now and Then

For we embark on paths
Divergent hearts of past
Silver moons weeping black
Shimmering from above
If ever you look back
You will know you were loved

Fail our steps to become
Less than two more than one
Ghosts of us haunt my soul
Remnants unwilling hold
Forgotten, I am left
Still wanting with regret

And come to me in dreams
Where you and I still breathe
This fortress we have made
No longer keeps me safe
A veil of dark pervades
Our walls collapse and fade

A penny wish I make
Until my dying day
Withstand the test of time
Forever on my mind
Looking back my beloved
Know you were dearly loved

***

Falling in Love

Falling in love was easy
It happened out of the blue
Trying to forget you now
Is so much harder to do

There are no rules to guide me
That will teach me how to lose
Pulling apart a single
Remaking it into two

No potions that will cure me
And erase away my blue
Not a soul can take your place
My irreplaceable you

Perhaps in time my Sun
Will again my dear shine through
As the days and nights go on
And when I am over you

***

When You

When you see me next
I'll be in a place
Mournful for our time
For death can't erase

When you hear my voice
Echo with the wind
Whispers the songbird
I will rise again

When you hold my hand
Cold the wild winds blow
Soar across blue skies
Knowing I am home

When you kiss my lips
This your last goodbye
Wistful that someday
We shall reunite

***

I AM

I am unbuilding
The house that we made
Undoing the hurt
Felt along the way

I am remaking
The girl I once knew
Helping her forget
Pain of losing you

I am forgiving
What tore us apart
Leaving you behind
And mending my heart

I am creating
A wonderful truth
Life moving forward
A life that is new

***

Saturday, March 17, 2018

Concrete Tomb

Neath an underpass
Sheltered concrete tomb
Lonesome the whistle
Piercing like dark mass
In shadows, I’m home
Chilled winds fill my bones
Knotted fingers clasp
Pull me to her warmth
Still the sounds echo
Desperate in their grasp
Tattered shawl we share
Wistful our minds play
The Prince battles fierce
Dragons in the lair
To make the world safe
Hollow his lips taste
In dreams, festive laid
Golden bowls brimming
Rich creams we make haste
His hunger sated
The stench of charred filth
Smudged noses peering
Fires through the night
Rusted barrel hearth
Homeless candlelight
Beaten she is game less
Angry are her tears
Want for an answer
Resilient unfelled
Aged beyond her years
Tale too familiar
Blended silhouettes
Of faces unknown
Wanting to falter
Dignity repressed
Of prayers, unanswered
Regardless their Faith
Seeking redemption
Cursed is our manse
Wishful for your Grace
***

Empty

I am empty
I cannot breathe
Desperate whisper
My lonesome heart
Sorrowed drifter

Gentle waters
Murky and deep
And fail the Sun
To bring me warmth
My soul undone

Shards of glass loose upon the floor
Fragmented life behind closed doors
Precious child ne’er will she see
Caged beauty will never be free

Innocent child
Fallen this night
Seeking redemption
Exorcised demons
In death, she is blessed

Restful Angel sleep
Final prayers she rests
In dark hear her weep
The water rises
Finally, in peace

Lullaby sung for this lost soul
A mother’s child is lost no more
Beckon her to forever land
The bluest sky and whitest sand

***

Friday, March 16, 2018

This Land


Suffer the children
Disabled and weak
Our Veterans who
Traded valor for
Freedoms we seek
The aged –
For lands once they toiled
Land of plenty
Your sacrifice
Your rewards, payment
In spades
Grand majesty
Her people free
Our voices strong
Democracy
Hidden, unseen
No one’s burden
Flightless
Ravaged
This middle class
Disease
All I believe
Lies fed to me
Steal my money
A little tease
If you, please
Fake sympathy
A tell and show
To get my vote
And nothing more
Squandered
Paupers
Milling our streets
Feed the hungry
Giving dollars
Lands overseas
Room and shelter
Dear Refugees
Our own fallen
Never we see
Mighty our roar
Fists pumped in air
Thousands living
Nowhere
Who cares
There’s a system
To protect them
Tax dollars pay
Keep them contained
No way to sustain
A rich man’s game
Food banks
Food stamps
A good freeze - we
Stack and pack them
Old Armory
Good deed is done
Now go away
How can this be
Boastful, esteemed
Seriously
Monkey sees
Only what
She wants
And needs
Not my country
The blind must not
Cannot, still they
Do lead

***

Thursday, March 15, 2018

Puppet


I have many fears
Scant dare I to breathe
Prisoner I am chained
For want they do lead

White girl privilege
Daddy’s little girl
All-inclusive life
Puppet in his world

Victim of nothing
Fancy is her name
Every move she makes
Predestined this game

Riches, spoils many
Free me from these chains
Every freedom gained
Heavy her soul paid

False idols she’s fed
Promised life in death
Pawns moving slowly
Punished for dissent

White canvas I snort
Wispy plumes of smoke
Hazy my release
Ordinary hope

Masters of my day
Pills to help me sleep
This life lived their way
Riddled with deceit

Rich bitches
Poor bastards
This dastardly
Only shatters
Misperception
Their deception
Life perfection
Disaffected
Non-existent
Poor human fools
Obey their rules

First world luxury
It pretends to be
a democracy,
yet told who to be

Canada, my home
Blaze this native land
Free my voice to shout
Decry your command

***

Wednesday, March 14, 2018

Plasticine


A perfect little white girl
In her perfect little life
A suburban Queen
Made of plasticine
Molded and unbreakable
Outward she’s unshakeable
But inside she is screaming
Longing for who she’s missing

Feed the machine
Tell her to think
When to breathe
Potion to drink
You scream at her
Tell her she’s weak
Close your eyes
and try to sleep
She takes these pills
Thief of her dreams
Still this nightmare
All consuming

Uprooted when you left me
Deep beneath my self-esteem
Ripped apart my world
Precious daddy’s girl
A porcelain shell remained
I was empty, just a name
This new game I had to play
No anchor to keep me sane

Always plastic
Phony her smile
Pretense motions
Fake emotions
Nobody’s child
Inside she cries
Substance abuse
To help her through
Wondering if
He struggles too
Cannot connect
Shuns and rejects

Alas the Great Pretender
She keeps the madness tethered
It wants to be freed
Release the wild beast
and make these chains unbinding
Free the girl I used to be
For she who stands before me
Is a girl I’ve never seen

Unleashed crazy
Settle a score
You misuse me
And abuse me
I take it and
Ask you for more
Sad girl. Bad girl
Upside down world
Never mattered
Mind fucked, shattered
Worried that you
Will leave me too

***

Jack Horner

In the corner
Sits Jack Horner
An ordinary bloke
Got me pregnant
I'm indignant 
For Jack well he is broke
Had his baby 
Called me crazy
For Jack didn't like to work
To God I'd pray
Perhaps someday
My Jack would come around
I cooked and cleaned
His Majesty
Asshole and tarnished crown
He never tried
Sex he denied
His whore lived in our town
Our baby boy
A perfect joy
His dad just didn't care
And so one day
This burning rage
Erupted in despair
And with a gun
I killed my hun
To make him disappear
My dear sweet boy
His mama's coy
We live in Toledo

***

There are no stars


There are no stars to lead me
For to send me on my way
With softly fallen footsteps
Night will take me through this haze

Spellbound my heart enraptured
For a love, we both once knew
To say goodbye my dearest
Crushed my velvet heart in two

Sorrowful the whippoorwill
Her cries echo oe’r the moor
The Lone Wolf howls mournfully
Restless is the heart forlorn

In dreams the sparrow rises
Her wings sweep the golden sky
When blooms whisper fragrantly
A love so tender in flight

***

Why do you follow


Why do you follow
And let me lead
Did you know then
What you meant to me

Were my answers
What you needed
In my footsteps
My voice you heeded

Our golden mile
We walk alone
Ne’er looking back
Our souls will roam

Glory Kingdom
Castle in sky
Carry me home
Forever night

***

raindrops


When raindrops become teardrops
The sky sheds its sorrow
Let us embrace a new Sun
Leave sigh on the morrow

Reach high the gilded lily
In a field of wishes
Dewdrops have gently fallen
Evening’s reminisces

Golden heat to keep us warm
And thaw our frozen hearts
Gentle rains caressing us
To melt away our dark

***

words

Every word you told me
I believed to be true
Never doubted for a
moment, they were not pure

You made me feel special
This ordinary girl
Every time we met
You became my whole world

A beacon in dark times
Precious, glorious light
You held my hand tightly
And life again felt right

My anchor grew heavy
A solemn moon did fall
Distant the bell’s ringing
Your heart it has moved on

Words unspoken tremble
So deep inside of me
For want to let them out
And wrest this pain I feel

***

I must go

I must go for I am tired
Weary and broken am I
Don't mourn my death dear sister
Rather celebrate my life

Don't hang your head in sorrow
Regale them with my story
Smile when you remember me
I'm on my way to Glory

Our life is but a journey
Everlasting is our truth
My heart is always with you
But I am just passing through

***

Regret

An old man lay waiting 
For the bus to arrive
Nary a soul lingered
Nor stood by his side

A small little coffin
Quite plain and unadorned
Pillow of white satin
Rest his weathered soul

The quiet din echoed
No voices to remark
Alone this man passes
Regrets do send him home

Pity a man wrested
This life with no embrace
Or blessings of laughter
To fill his final days

Who weeps for our broken
Remembers or adores
Honors their gifts given
Heed his knock upon our door

I once walked in his shoes
Lonely and feeling small
Faith persevered, knowing
the greatest love of all

***

Everybody Leaves

Don't ask me my name
It doesn't matter
Can't give all of me
For I am broken
You may have my smile

I will keep my heart
I know you believe
But everyone leaves

You may steal a kiss
But it must be chaste
You may hold my hand
But it's not a date
No promise given
Nor promise to keep
Keep out of my dreams
For everyone leaves

***

A Sample of Happiness

A simple wish for a word or two
To keep me forward when I am blue
Remind me what happiness feels like
When I struggle to be remembered
And fear that I may be forgotten
The slightest touch of your hand in mine
A smile that makes me feel warm inside
A verse to say you are on my mind
Precious is the kiss upon my cheek
For a moment
Perhaps this life
Is not so bleak

***

Perfect

I give you coins from an empty purse,
Creating a love born of dependency
I open my eyes with you inside
To really feel as you climax me
For one blessed moment, I was free
A golden Savior born of my need
I crowned him King sacrificing me
Blind to what I did not want to see
I needed to fuck, and wanted you -
to connect something broken in me
All men cheat
Mothers lie
People leave
Loved ones die
Shallow truths from those sworn to protect
I cling demanding you hold out for longer
Everybody takes and takes from me
Drifting and empty I miss my Founder
I spin my tale how it needs to read
Unwritten story how dare you leave
You’ve destroyed everything that was real
Manipulative bitch pretending -
this darkness threatens to consume me
Victim of all your condescending
Hidden whore
Sinner’s saint
God’s answer
I’m to blame
A make-believe life not what it seems
The masks I wear to hide my deceit
Someone to quell the fires that burn
Absolve me all my burdens and sins
Carve out my soul and still it yearns
Outside looking in a testament
Perfect life unsoiled and so pretty
Painted canvas, a Rockwell moment
Walking on egg shells shortness of breath
Please don’t leave me, I beg you relent
Haunted girl
Devil’s needs
Fucked up world
How I bleed
***

Saturday, March 10, 2018

Do you

Do you still think of me
When the rain falls
When the stones, washed blue
Lift with the tide
Crest my heart blushing rose

I still whisper your name
Escape my breath
Gentle the stars they fade
And night beckons
As though you might hear me

You hold my heart asking
To give it back
I beg you no please don't
I am afraid
That i still think of you

***

Friday, March 9, 2018

Unrattled

Death he welcomes me
Takes me in his arms
Soothes the savage beast
Leaving me disarmed
Unrattles what lay
Deep inside of me
Disrupts dormant rage
Wanting to be free
Hope beyond the grave
The light overwhelms
Shadows bring release
Let the voices quell
I am on my knees
When the demon preys
In the stark of day
My soul torn and raped
Death is life my way

***

Silence


i have good news
no one to tell
i look around
empty as hell
lonely death knell


***

Monday, March 5, 2018

Forever Lost

Her boy lay still
Solemn casket
Unmoving he
Amid the satin
His pillow lace
His life taken
A life denied
A mother weeps
For her son sleeps
Unheeded her
Pain
Stain
Her grievous heart
Wants her boy back
Farewell sanity
Forever lost
Your Godly hymn
Won't bring him back
Fuck the cancer
Your desire
Your evil ways
To swallow whole
And end his days
Hold hostage
The message
Our day will come
Be ready
Embody
Our Holy Son

***

In my pocket

I move freely
Never seeing
Disconnected
Disbelieving
Freedom brings me
Away from you
This what binds me
Does remind me
Of what I’ve left -
Behind and
I deny,
I miss you
I feel blue
Wish that you
Just might see
This girl
For her
A broken heart
In my pocket
Like a photo
In a locket
Carry I will
Until my death
With my last breath
Final request
To hold you near
You were the one
You captured me -
My heart, my Dear
***

Unwritten

You think I care, i do
You'll move on and I won't
You call me sad, broken
Used girl just a token
Remember when we met
This shy girl, hesitant
Crazy love gave me hope
I gave me, unrevoked
A crystal ball to see
What our future could be
Your heavy heart lingered
A past love beleaguered
And so you said goodbye
Our love to be denied
A future you and I
Unwritten in the skies
***

Built Happy

Some people are built happy
Applaud them their misplaced thought
Fill the void of emptiness
It's a game this happiness
The devil chances his game
Let the die roll, it's insane
Sedatives kill my rapture
Chemicals have me captured
My life not a disaster
I am happy in my way
***

Death's Final Please

Humble death's final plea
Careful what you ask of me
Stark my reality
Unforgiving is my yield
Let not blindness lead you
Lest your clarity be false
Dither not your reasons true
Relentless is Glory's cost
Choose a path befitting
A girl innocent and pure
Suffer this bravely and know
Temporary is your hurt
***

Boxes

It's about boxes
Happy and content
Domestic violence
Four kids and no rent
White privilege 
Religious
Ridiculous
I'm believing
You keep me locked in
Cancer in house two
Whore in number three
Passerby on street
Smile as you do meet
Crank the radio
Dance when they don't know
Let the sparrow roam
Empty grave barren
And the raven crows
Weakened just to breathe
Oh please release me
My time to sin here
Take the gold my friend
Time is limited
Climb mountains
Chase rainbows
Cleave to lover's breast
Unsettle unrest
Explore happiness
Be it your last breath
I know you love me
***