Rewind

There are times you’re on my mind
Like shadows lurking dark
Wanting more my yearning soul
Refrain this old heart

A dance of two makes me blue
Forlorn I mourn for you
Your kiss I miss, lover’s tryst
Passionate and true

Lost in time my dreams rewind
A story long ago
My darling I, still I cry
How I miss you so

In spite of the tears I’ve cried
For the life we once knew
The gift of hope you alone
Make my dreams come true

***

Nothing Left (song)

Nothing left for you to say
Laying it out there
What are you needing from me
Do we continue
Maybe tomorrow
Things are clearer
What do you want from me anyway
Someday
Maybe you and I will be
Stronger
For what we are going through
Tell me
What do I gotta do baby
What do you have to say?

Tell me what happens to us
Will this be enough
You are driving me insane
Things just ain’t the same
Maybe someday soon
You and I move on
Without each other
Damn it I am not okay
I need
To know that you still do care
Your love
Can take us everywhere
Nothing
Can make me feel like you do
Tell me we are worth it

Tell me you want the same
Baby say it
Call my name
You and I in this game
Together

***

I'm not ready

I’m not ready
To say goodbye
Rootless
Still you present yourself
Naked and alive
What will you say
I wonder
You pretend to love me
Defend and tell me
Your web of lies
The day you left
The first day I cried
Broken
We left you behind
Still you are on my mind
I once was
Precious
Thought I mattered
Life shattered
Like bones on a highway scattered
Fires burning
An entire world unfurled
On whims crazy absurd
Where did you go
Unsure
Of who you ever were
Were you ever worth
The trouble
Happy birthday mother
Wanting you to replace
This man disgraced
To take his place
So, I can tell you
I miss you mama

***

Girl

Poor girl are you sad
I wonder if you know
This world is cold
Let your heart be bold
Believe in yourself
Once upon long ago
Your fairytale broke
I continue to be
Someone you once knew
Oh how I miss you
Let these stars shine
A thousand times
Diamonds in the night
Do you see me still
Solemn here I am
Praying for you and me
Absence makes me grieve
Mama I cannot see
I cannot see the sun
The moon escapes me
Everyday is so
Ordinary I
Wish I could be
Anyone but me

***

Haunt

Goddamned I am
Someone still
You fill my mind
With poison
Let’s pretend
I am empty
I’m not your friend
Begin your world
Without me
At last I am free
Papa you told me
I ain’t nothing
You beg your coin
Make some noise
Who am I
To question
I don’t wanna
Still maybe I
Need to make
A decision
One day I hope
My words I choke
They haunt me
Everyday
Daddy I
No longer cry
We are through
Our truth pulled
Denied, finalized
Tell me only
Still I hear my angel
A voice strong and true
Mama I miss you
Let raise our hearts
Scream my name
When we are apart
Forever I am blue
Always your little girl

***

Whore

I met your whore today
We said hello
I wondered whether
She wondered also
She wore your ring
Like a promise kept
Mine lay tarnished
High upon a shelf
Did she know?
Who I really was
She talked about you
So filled with love
It made me miss
Days long ago
You held my hand
I was your girl
I met your whore today
I think I liked her
Will you be home tonight
Or will you be with her

***

Leftover

I was told
To let you go
Don’t look back
Move along
Holding on
My undone
Leftover
Madness from
What i got
Giving change
Like penance
Forgiving
Still I hold
This tin cup
Drop your coin
Spew your faith
Claim your god
Erase me
I am nothing
A figurine
Made of glass
And plasticine
Mould me into
What you need
Fill my coffers
Let me scream
From a pulpit
Ashamed I beg
Lay your head
Across my grave
Bend your knees
Help me pray
Sinner
I refuse
To succumb
To your abuse

***

From Shadows

I remember
From long ago
Bits and pieces
A life I’ve known
Steps and stairways
Christmases past
Memories from
This girl I’ve lost
Pageants, ribbons
Stories unfold
Who was this girl
I thought I was
Pretending still
That I was loved
This make-believe
World that I own
Goblins and ghosts
Leave me alone
One day maybe
What’s left behind
Tells my story
And let’s me find
This girl I knew
From shadows past
Freedom to be
Just who she was

***

Cover Girl

This girl on a magazine
Cover girl
Whole world
Someone special
Shadows lurk
In murky waters
She is drowning
Who will save her
Hidden tears
Wanton for your grace
Crushed soul
You’d never know
This pain beneath
Her smiling face
Uppers and downers
Merry-go-round
Round-and-round
Spinning top
She cannot stop
Silent screams
Let her off
Beautiful girl
Quietly saved
In peace she lays
From death rises
Her lonely grave

***

Glory Train

There is a place strangers go
To find a peace they’ve not known
From earthly troubles unchained
Heaven bound the glory train

Let rise our souls to freedom
Find shelter in His kingdom
From a lonely place of faith
Waiting for a call to grace

A forever home we seek
From our dreams of make believe
Bringing sunshine to the rain
Heaven bound the glory train

***

Fuel

I’m not going anywhere
Still I wonder
What lays beyond the sun
A prisoner I am
In my mind

Take down these fences of steel
Will you let me
I don’t know who to blame
This life it ain’t real
Pretending

Weightless like a soldier falls
Hear her scream
Inside a piece has died
Warring unashamed
Freedom sings

Standing in a field of stone
Broken I pray
Fill my mind with poison
Barely breathing
Do you see

Golden lights like a halo
Fuel this fire
Claim my forgotten soul
Rise the people’s choir
I am tired

***

Forgotten

I’m sorry
These roads taken
I forsake
Wishes I’ve spent
Traveled slowly
Do you remember
Who I am
These moments
Memories kept
Pretty is as
Her voice carried
Pretending she
Never mattered
Still rise the dawn
This girl I am
Will always be
Forgotten

***

Seasons Lost

Winters I have spent
Reminiscing
Faded prints
Wishing

Autumn leaves fallen
Long forgotten
Whispered sins
Wanting

Summers left behind
Unrepentant
Misspent faith
Regretting

Let my ashes fall
And rise my soul
Desire I
Your grace

***