Sunday, December 16, 2018

Remember

This old body is tired
Bent I am from the wreckage 
Sear my soul in poisoned ache
Release this broken mirage

Press my heart into your fist
Lift me up, free from sorrow
Searching this after world
Rite of passage, time borrowed

Soldier weeps, his purple heart
Rice fields drenched in crimson red
Give me back what war has lost
Bloody war, our wages spent

Crosses laid in dormant rows
Widows kneel in blinding pain
Silence of tomorrow's missed
Victims in this losing game

***

Sisters

Three little girls
None are the same
Still they are one
A beat remains

When daddy left
They were all they had
Sunshine won't shine
Until night comes

The brightest stars
They come at dusk
When we hurt the most
And feel alone

Three baby girls
Are all grown up
Living their lives
Not looking back

Knowing they are tied
Mama's daughters
Her one true pride
Tell us father

You're in my soul
All we do love
All we do know
Still we are good

Darling of mine
Different we are
Beneath this moon
Same bright star

***

Grandma

Growing up quite ordinary.
The middle child between two girls.
Quiet and shy like background noise.
But to grandma I was the world.

Like a tiny star shining bright.
Blanketing the beautiful sky.
A beacon strong with brilliant light.
She made me feel so good inside.

The middle child oft’ overlooked.
And what my grandma always said;
the best part of any sandwich -
is the stuffing between the bread.

Lots of memories I hold dear.
Of a time not so long ago.
And never, ever will I doubt;
how much my grandma loves me so.

***

It ain't right

It ain't right
Still I forgive
Bleeding light
Fractured kiss
All this time
Spent missing you
Liquid hope
Comes spilling through
Too many
Tears I have cried
Senseless wrongs
Storybook lies
Woven truth
Strung together
Games you played
Didn't matter
Lay beneath
The water's skin
Feeling safe
Swallow my sin
See the light
Like diamonds shine
You in death
I leave behind
***

Sing

I want to sing to you
The words I need to say
Every part of me
Is wanting you to stay
Please will you hold my hand
Pretend that you still care
Perhaps we can forget
Forgive while we still can
Sometimes when it matters
We neglect those we love
Wishing for yesterday
To undo what was done
Let me hold you tightly
And never let you go
Tell you that I love you
My one and only soul
***

Missing You

I miss you.
All of you.
Your sweet smile,
pretty face.
Every,
scar and mark.
Each little,
twitch and blink
All of you
fills all-of
me and leaves
me empty.
The radio
plays for me,
yesterday’s
wisdom. Still
I’m betrayed.
Wishing and
hoping you;
finally,
understand.
Why I need
you. And you,
need me too.
A pause or
a worry,
something left
behind. Leaves
me my dear
to wonder -
What else may
be undone.
A penny
wish or a
prayer for
forgiveness.
Leaving naught
anything
behind for
I shall find,
truth in me.
My story,
our glory.
Remember
this moment.
In time when
all hope found,
troubles gone.
Faith, the King
Rise up His
Crown and show
me where I
went wrong. Show
me where our,
story ends.
Help me to
understand.
I miss you.
***

Ordinary

I am who I say I am
Ordinary is my name
No royalty in my blood
Not a Duke or a Grand Dame
Explicitly my nature
Obtuse in worldly matters
Just a small town girl with a
Talent for poignant blather
Shall we pretend much further
Like you dont care but I do
Talk about me
Behind my back
Whisper gossip
Like I'm a tramp
Let's see shall we, tell me why
I should forgive you; do I?
I am no one important
Someone that you used to know
A casual acquaintance
This girl who once loved you so
So lets do this shall we please
Lets make our mark for marks sake
Pretend that tinsels and stars
Mean something special this night
I'm naught but ordinary
No one special, someone from
This town, still I hope to see
This girl lookin back at me
***

I miss

I miss
how the stars shine
the lift of your smile
every word
how it sounds
I miss
talking with you
how you make me feel
delectable
your sweet kiss
I miss
being with you
held close in your arms
knowing your love
feeling safe
I want
to unwind time
when we first met and
you made me yours
for awhile
I need
to forget you
and let my heart heal
sharing my secrets,
I loved you
***

Obituary

We say nice things about the dead
We lower our eyes in sorrow
Rosy cheeks warm with salty tears
For the taking of tomorrow
A pulpit where we preach our word
To proclaim aloud forever love
With heavy heart and shallow breath
Asking for guidance from above
Reminisce, our stories we told
Memories we shared in good faith
Every bit of good in your soul
For he has taken you in haste
Is there a reason that we wait
Until death does take you away
For our love to come shining out
To say the words i meant to say
***

Un-see

Un-see what I have seen
And let this mind roam free
Festered wounds escape
Exposed truth in hate
Splintered light from dark
Release toxic shock
Unknown a sky blue
Petrified, unsure
Finite this lifeline
Victim , borrowed time
Seek profound from rot
Unconvincing lot
Dare like soaring winds
Belief from within
Little girl who sees
More than she reveals
Forsaken, broken
Mindless rejection
Shattered and exposed
Still she stands alone
***

Let me be

Let me be
I am falling,
and my heart
has missed a beat
All of me
scattered, broken
and my grace
too late to reach
Can you see
me in the darkness?
Faltered steps,
lost in my grief
Let me be,
unspoken truth
Every word,
a breath I need
***

Losting Game

This old body is tired
Bent I am from the wreckage
Sear my soul in poisoned ache
Release this broken mirage
Press my heart into your fist
Lift me up, free from sorrow
Searching this after world
Rite of passage, time borrowed
Soldier weeps, his purple heart
Rice fields drenched in crimson red
Give me back what war has lost
Bloody war, our wages spent
Crosses laid in dormant rows
Widows kneel in blinding pain
Silence of tomorrow's missed
Victims in this losing game
***

Done

I am done
No longer here
A whisper
That disappeared
A shadow
Of discontent
Passing sun
Lover's lament
Unspoken
A wish in flight
Take my breath
A voice exiled
I am damned
Fueled by regret
Simple heart
Foolishly spent
Pretending
Wanting to be
Young girl lost
Finally free
Untethered
Is the willow
Spill your seed
Spread your soul
Weary you
Wary are we
Passing grace
Stolen peace
I am done
My flesh and bones
Rot in hell
Long she is gone

***

Hero

My dad died in the war
Soldiers came to my door
A Purple Heart medal
To mark the man who fell
My ma fell to her knees
With pleading eyes screamed please
And still with lowered eyes
Begged forgiveness this night
His casket draped in flag
The American way
Guns to echo his death
A blast adorns his end
A mother mourns her son
A father’s life undone
The son who will not know
This dad who loved him so
Never my son forget
What his sacrifice has meant
Son, Father and Hero
Dear sir, we are grateful
***

Past Hurts

There are things
I will not talk about
Past hurts that
Forever make me cry
Little things
Else this world will forgive
And still I
Simply still, want to live
Precious heart
Forever in my mind
Only want
To live my life as mine
I do wish
That one day perhaps
Maybe yes
My darling live my life
This my heart
Tell me a secret please
Truly dear
Show me how to release
Care for me
Hold my heart in your hand
Lift me up
Take me to Neverland
My last breath
Hold me and say goodbye
Truly, I
Rue when you left my life
***

Well Played

Fickle melancholy
Unleashed her delight
Poignant her adaptation 
Bitter crisis of life
Beautiful rendition
Of misery's lament
Decry false modesty
The critic's circumvent
With nary a restrain
Comeuppance in aplomb
Musically inspired
Delivered in a song
Sweet chords of discontent
A broken martyr prayer
Wrested ordinary
This queen of masquerade
***

Why

Why did you give me wings to fly?
Still I am shackled to this earth
Tethered my roots deep, I am bound
Desperately I want to climb
Salvation born in fear of night
Placing our coins on all we know
Prayers we bequeath to judgement day
To false gods and heavens, let go
Damned this mirage of here and now
His pulpit reach, the actor's stage
The city din, swallows my cries
Simple pawn in a waiting game
Why did you give me wings to fly?
These tears to weep for shallow hurts
A voice strong to sing your glory
An empty pew to preach your word
***

Truth of our past

Why did you leave
I need to know
I always believed
We shared a soul
Somewhere in time
This love we knew
Was never enough
I fell for you
Once long ago
As a young girl
Keeper of my heart
Soldier, my world
Tell me a story
Please hold my hand
Forever we part
You make me sad
Someday maybe
One day perhaps
My pretty girl
Our love won't last
I am sorry
Please understand
What we knew darling
Truth of our past
***

Do you know how much I love you

Do you know how much you are loved?
In wake of autumn’s blazing trails
Across a wintry, crisp blue sky
This love I have for you is real
When petals fall in slumber deep
The crescent moon leans away
Rest the earth heavy upon you
Still this heartbeat for you remains
Rise the waters to take you home
Rush forth the winds in changing tides
In peace we wander through this night
Our two halves forever entwined
Do you know how much I love you?
Your every breathe a scent so fair
My sorrow deep when you are far
Wishful in dreams to keep you near
***

Swell

See me standing here
Waiting for a train
Quietly I sit
Lost in my own brain
My words sing loudly
A song you can’t hear
My magic unfolds
Whenever you’re near
Life rushes quickly
Streams of marching scenes
The beauty of you
A true friend indeed
When you hold my hand
Always in my dreams
A touch of your smile
Makes me feel so free
In constant motion
My mind never sleeps
This train moves forward
Will you ride with me?
All aboard my friend
Thank you for your time
Hope you have enjoyed
This magic carpet ride
Take my ticket please
Hear the whistle blow
The sombre tolling bells
Dear heart, let me go
***

Carry Me

Wear me, take my breath as your own
Carry me to your place of calm
Clasp your hands in mine, hold tightly
Release me please when you are done
Taste me, swallow me with your tongue
Touch me, gather me to your breast
Shout out what I am unwilling
Wipe my brow, whisper forgiveness
For I walk with quiet footsteps
Upon soft earth swollen in rain
Seek truth in divine indifference
I feel nothing except your pain
Lift my heart unto his glory
Righteous breaths within my breast
Torn asunder what is broken
Lost forever what I have missed
See me bleed onto the canvas
Paint my heart like roses faded
Will you call me forth from nothing
Path to madness I am waylaid
Lay my head on feather pillows
Gently kisses, my fevered brow
Sweetly moan the sounds of heaven
Sing me softly into the ground
Rest my darling, please close your eyes
Seeking comfort from this night
Close the door my past forgotten
Shine on, remorse the dying Sun
***

Making Sense

Help me to understand
This wrath that fuels your rage
Choosing who lives, who dies
This bullet of your hate
Please tell me your reasons
While in the house of God
Delivered your evil
This penance for your cause
Lead the lamb to slaughter
We wear our skin like breath
Neath this outer wrapper
Our blood is crimson red
I pray for the fallen
Desperately I plea
Keep this hate from spilling
This killing needlessly
Together raise our voice
Rise up, unite as one
Let not the hatred win
This battle of the gun
***

Lost

I have always been pretending
To be something that I am not
This mask I wear fits me so well
Everything beneath, something lost
Ashes scattered, setting me free
Prisoner, this darkness is certain
Demon fiend, feeds upon my bones
Take your bow, this final curtain
Sometimes I wonder about you
And wonder if you wonder too
Do you see me neath the sunshine
I have lost the girl that I knew
I have always been pretending
Keeping this old mask welded on
One day soon I'll be forgotten
I will let you know when I'm found
***

Art

I wear my truth
Like a canvas
Showing you my world
Bringing a light
To my darkness
Bleeding life from pain
Painted sorrow
A lonely blue
Brilliantly released
With every stroke
My mighty pen
Feels like I can’t breathe
Silver moonbeams
Bleak, dreary sky
Weathered the rested
Inglorious
Eyes without sight
Benign existence
***

Words

One word ahead of another
Another behind the other
Fitting together
Making sense from
Utter madness
Chaos strung together
Every word a picture
Like a woodpile inside
Images from nothing
A string of lights
In my crazy mind
Sense out of nonsense
Pouring from a tap
Anxious sentences
Waiting to get off
Telling their own story
One I have never heard
Help me make them stop
Blink and they are gone
Pushing. Screaming. Wanting
Desperate to escape
Every word a meaning
Something I need to say
Words


***

Let Her Rest

I am tired
For this old heart
In pieces lay
Drenched in crimson
Unwilling
Unable
Weakened it seeks
Torn asunder
Unholy
Repentant
Wishing for peace
Severed her limbs
Stagnant release
Falsified remains
Summons to God
Take me home
Forge new roads
Left behind
World unknown
Soulless eyes
No longer roam
Who is this girl
What has she done
Filled with remorse
In death is owned
Yet she is free
Unburdened she
Will she return
Or will she be
Someone you need
Yearning
Serving
Undeserving
Self-preserving
Finally this
Remorseful bliss
Someone’s daughter
Someone’s mother
Gravestone marker
Unearth
This curse
Please let her rest
***

Unleash Me - Three Shorts

Unleash me
Cinder walls
Falling down
Expose me
Blasphemy 
Lies spilled
Graffiti
Falsehoods and
Lost freedoms
Raining glass
Piercing me
Holy God
On my knees
Let me breathe
***
Salivate
Please placate
I want to
Celebrate
This demise
Nothing yet
I have spent
Wasted rent
I am done
Tired and
Wanting not
Only what
What I’ve got
Do you see
Me, on my
Knees, bloody
Begging pleas
Finish me
Do you hear
Set me free
***
I am free
Hear my voice
See my wings
Blissful light
Surrounds me
Forgiveness
I repent
Life spent
Worrying
And wanting
Freedom to
Be just you
Simply me
Finally
I can breathe
Sweet Jesus
I can see
***