Happy used to live here
Then he went away
Never returning
Forever churning
Wishing him back again
Jack is nimble and quick
Driving the women wild
A magical trick
With his candlestick
An absolute delight
In a tiny storefront
Master cobbler of shoes
He had a fetish
For spiked stilettos
Selling his wares to whores
Father Time keeps creeping
Beneath my window sill
Trampling my roses
Stealing begonias
Cuz I won’t let him in
Santa Claus no longer
Visits me late at night
Caught by the missus
She kicked up a fuss
And took me off his list
Mary has lost her lamb
Inconsolable she
Served her some mutton
Wow, quite the glutton
Her lamb was quite delish
Happy used to live here
With six of his dear friends
The lazy bastards
We’re always plastered
And now my story ends
***
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